Thursday, May 02, 2013

Church Working Parent

Thursday mornings are hard.  Very hard.  Little Goat wants to keep sleeping and really who can blame him.  I want to keep sleeping too.  Thursday mornings are hard because Wednesdays are long.

Like we get to church at 9am (Preschool is also at church) and we head home at 8:15pm.  Little Goat too.  He is in Preschool and extended care until 3pm and then he is my helper, watching videos and making copies with me until evening programming starts.  Then he's in programming - either the nursery or my own program if I take pity on him (he's technically a year too young still, but if numbers are low it works fine).

We head home after things wrap up at 8pm after I clean up of course.  Dad is also on sight in the church choir.  Then we drive 20 minutes home and begin the bedtime routine.  Normal bedtime begins at or before 8pm.

On the one hand, I am grateful that Little Goat loves to be at church and really has a pretty good attitude about it all.  But on the other it is just hard on a 4 yr old to be out that long.  He needs downtime.  And when he kept insisting that he was sick this morning just to stay home and rest, I felt awful because I know it was a direct result of the long Wednesdays.

Sometimes I feel so paralyzed by it.  My work is crucial to our family for that whole money/benefits thing, but I also do enjoy my ministry.  I love to work with kids and even then Wednesdays are long on me.

Still I wish on Thursday mornings that I could be a stay at home mom.  Or that Wednesday nights were not church nights, because on Thursday mornings I feel acutely that I am failing my child.

But I make him get up, and eat breakfast, and put on his clothes.  And we are late to preschool, and there are tears (his) and drop off goes badly.  Despite the fact that he loves school.  He is just tired.

And I head up to my office up the stairs and I am tired too.  And there may be some more tears (mine this time).

But what can I do?  This is our reality so we push forward, Thursdays and all.


Sarah said...

I'm sorry it has been a rough routine for E. Bedtime has fluctuated a lot for our kids over the years, so maybe he'll be ok with a later night before long.

Would it work to have him put on his jammies and brush teeth before getting into the car on Wednesdays? Maybe a book on CD or a quiet CD on the way home could be the routine for that night and he could hop right into bed when he gets home.

Silent said...

Is it possible for you to take some 'downtime' with him on Wednesdays instead of him being in extended care or having him be your helper? As in, the 2 of you leave the church to do something--go to the park or library if home is too far.

I'm a pastor with two kids (ages almost 2 and almost 5) and Wednesdays are long days! They aren't at church all day but they do have daycare/preschool prior to being with me at church for the evening. I make time to spend time with them in the afternoon on Wednesdays as much as possible, even though sometimes it is just occupying the younger one while the older one is in dance class (which I'd rather wasn't on Wed. but it was the better option for us). And sometimes, daddy just has to miss choir practice because it's more important that he get the kids home earlier for whatever reason. And, in our case, there isn't really programming here for them in the evening, but we don't have other childcare options for Wednesdays right now.

Anonymous said...

Maybe for now, until Little Goat is older and can handle the long days, Dad could forgo his participation in the choir. It wouldn't be forever and as parents, sometimes we just need to do what's best for our kids. Allowing Little Goat to go home (say, right after church) would cut the time he has to spend there plus he gets to bed sooner. And just as important, giving you piece of mind. Just a thought.


Beeb Ashcroft said...

I feel tired just reading about it! I understand when you're doing the best you can possibly do with a situation and it's still not ideal.

Beeb Ashcroft said...

Understand how it is, I meant. See, I'm so tired I can't even type right. LOL!

Gary said...

It is time to stand up to the Fundamentalists in the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod.

I do not expect to change the mind of even one Christian fundamentalist by my online campaign against gay-hate-speech-promoting Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod official, Paul T. McCain and Patrick Henry Christian College provost, Gene Veith. I do not expect that any amount of reasoned argument will convince them of their vicious, hateful, "un-Jesus-like" behavior.

My goal is to expose them.

My goal is to have their Churches, Universities, Associations, and Websites added to the list of Hate Groups loathed by the overwhelming majority of the American people; so deeply loathed and reviled that these groups are marginalized to the sidelines of American society, politics, and culture; their opinions and views held in no more regard than that of other sponsors of hate, such as the KKK and Neo-Nazis.

Crystina herald said...

what you mean Gary??? its not safe way.