Thursday, May 02, 2013

Church Working Parent

Thursday mornings are hard.  Very hard.  Little Goat wants to keep sleeping and really who can blame him.  I want to keep sleeping too.  Thursday mornings are hard because Wednesdays are long.

Like we get to church at 9am (Preschool is also at church) and we head home at 8:15pm.  Little Goat too.  He is in Preschool and extended care until 3pm and then he is my helper, watching videos and making copies with me until evening programming starts.  Then he's in programming - either the nursery or my own program if I take pity on him (he's technically a year too young still, but if numbers are low it works fine).

We head home after things wrap up at 8pm after I clean up of course.  Dad is also on sight in the church choir.  Then we drive 20 minutes home and begin the bedtime routine.  Normal bedtime begins at or before 8pm.

On the one hand, I am grateful that Little Goat loves to be at church and really has a pretty good attitude about it all.  But on the other it is just hard on a 4 yr old to be out that long.  He needs downtime.  And when he kept insisting that he was sick this morning just to stay home and rest, I felt awful because I know it was a direct result of the long Wednesdays.

Sometimes I feel so paralyzed by it.  My work is crucial to our family for that whole money/benefits thing, but I also do enjoy my ministry.  I love to work with kids and even then Wednesdays are long on me.

Still I wish on Thursday mornings that I could be a stay at home mom.  Or that Wednesday nights were not church nights, because on Thursday mornings I feel acutely that I am failing my child.

But I make him get up, and eat breakfast, and put on his clothes.  And we are late to preschool, and there are tears (his) and drop off goes badly.  Despite the fact that he loves school.  He is just tired.

And I head up to my office up the stairs and I am tired too.  And there may be some more tears (mine this time).

But what can I do?  This is our reality so we push forward, Thursdays and all.