Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Weigh In Week 14

I knew it was going to be bad.  And it was.

+ 3.0 Pounds
- 32.4 lbs Lost to Date

I want to make excuses - surgery, stress, birthday, Easter.  But the truth is I knew what I was eating.  I was eating bacon, and desserts.  I did well with Easter candy but ate plenty of other crappy for me things.

Honestly I am scared.  The week ahead is going to be stressful and difficult to work out.  I am facing meals out with some of my favorite foods as Mr. Goat wants some "last suppers."  I can't fault him for this desire but I'm not sure how to support him and stay strong myself.

I don't want to fail at this, but I'm so afraid that my progress is already starting to slip away.  What if I am not strong enough?

I should end this on a positive - with acknowledging how far I've come and some non-scale victories, but I'm just not feeling it.  I am my own weakest link and am ashamed of my choices this week.  I guess I should take heart that my "bad" week was still a lot healthier than my eating before, but it is a small comfort today.  

10 comments:

@meeterica said...

Guilt, is awareness. Awareness is progress. You, my dear-have come so far. :) Lean on us. You are not alone. In AA, people have sponsors to call when they are at a tipping point---I am always a phone call away, and I know you'd do the same for me <3 Proud of you.

Kate said...

Support is one thing, but if it means compromising your progress, then it isn't support. It's sabotage.

Mr Goat has the desire for those last meals, but that doesn't mean you have to join him in the indulgence. If the menu doesn't offer healthy choices for you, then there is nothing wrong with staying away. And he shouldn't push you to make poor choices in your food. You've been supportive of him in his own journey and are taking on quite a role as caregiver after his surgery. He made that choice, with your support. Now he has to give back that same support in this.

You ARE strong enough to make it through this, but the moment you believe you can't, you WILL begin to fail. This will be a hard week, but you already know your emotions play a huge role in what goes in your mouth, and you have risen above them before. You can do it again. Shoulder the support of Mr Goat, but don't let it drag you to those bad foods. You CAN make it work but it will be a challenge, just like the last four months. YOU can DO this!!

kendi said...

What's done is done, what's ahead is what matters. It's tricky, but separating his emotional experience from yours is important. For me, eating out with others who are celebrating or attaching emotion to their eating is always a challenge, but I try to remember that I'm working to change my relationship with food, and I still get to decide what goes in. Thinking of you and pulling for you. I believe in your ability to negotiate this temporary challenge. One hour at a time.

Momma Hunt said...

I know this will be hard, I agree that you need to make sure that you breathe and take time when you can to deal with the emotions that are going to surrond these last few days pre-surgery. Also, just remember if you try your best and know that you did your best, if your results aren't so good for the next two weeks because of a huge life change, then so be it. That is life. The losses aren't always going to come easy, sometimes not at all. The importan thing is to do your best and move forward. Hang in there and sending your virtual hugs for this next week

Valerie said...

I think Kate said it best. Remember that no one is going to force feed you bad foods. While it may initially be hard to choose the healthy options over the favorite meals, eventually you'll find that those healthy options are just as good if not better than your old stand-byes. You could also try making a bit of deal with yourself. You might allow yourself one off day if you're good the rest of the week, or you could have an extra treat if you spend extra time at the gym.

Also, don't forget that you've shown some pretty big losses lately, and your body may just be catching up. Next weigh in will be better.

Sabrina said...

Take this past week and learn from it. Support Mr Goat but support yourself at the same time. This upcoming week is the perfect opportunity to set yourselves up for success in the weeks to come. I know you'll both be successful.

Monkeymama said...

Good luck this week. Things like this that throw off my routine always end up derailing my health goals.

Can you do very strict menu planning for the week? Pack lunches and snacks as much as possible? Would "just a taste" of the treat foods be enough?

Do you have any help with E lined up so that you don't get too burned out taking care of everyone?

I know I'd be saying "it's just a couple weeks and then I'll get back to my plan." But I want better for you than that.

EDH said...

These are the weeks when the rubber hits the road. It's so rare that I have a week when the stars align for perfect eating - much more often, there are late nights at work, meals out with others, holidays, stress eating, etc., etc. The trick is to learn how to ride all of that out, because life doesn't exist in a vacuum!

I can see how this will be really tough for a while because you and Mr. Goat are on such different paths to the same end, so your strategies might conflict with each other. But hopefully he can give you the support you need - I think Kate said it well.

I hope you won't feel defeated! Think of this instead as a good challenge for you to strengthen your tools/strategies, because it's not like this is the last tough week you're going to have, you know?

Marie said...

I'm sending up prayers for strength, Liz. Not only for a loss next week, but also a successful surgery for Mr. Goat.

Meredith said...

The upcoming days before surgery will definitely be a challenge, fortunately it's a short lived challenge in this instance! You have learned and successfully used so many tools already like meal planning, exercise points, weeklies, picking out favorite items, or just taking small bites/ samples of high points items. I know you have the ability to use them in the coming days, too! Use them as a way to show Mr Goat how your future together will be! Use them to show yourself how strong and dedicated you are! Just be your best and success will shine through!

If the next week proves to be tough, take heart in the fact that sharing a healthier lifestyle and the challenge of weight loss is amazingly successful with a partner in crime! I am so blessed to be losing weight with my boyfriend. We are learning from each other, supporting each other and growing closer as we bond over the challenge AND the success!

I'm super pumped actually to read that you and Mr Goat will be doing this TOGETHER!

I'm also reachable anytime you need words of encouragement, girlie time or just a hug...you can count on me!

Hugs!