A week from now Mr. Goat should be out of surgery and we can start moving towards a new normal. It blows my mind. Just 10 days ago surgery was on the table but no date had been set. Now we are nearly there.
I for one fluctuate between anxiety and excitement. I am excited to see what strides we can make toward becoming healthier people, but it is scary too. Just as I have always been "fat," I've always known my husband as overweight too. We have no concept of what it means to be at a healthy weight. It is almost like we have no real clue who we are going to become in the next year or two.
And that is scary.
I am glad we are doing this together, it is so much easier having someone by your side to support you, and I know I'm going to need it as will Mr. Goat.
This weekend was a fun one - Mr. Goat's birthday celebration, Holy Week and Easter services and Easter brunch. All told I've eaten like a pig this weekend, even if I have limited my choices and subbed out some things in order to spend points on what I've really wanted. It isn't all bad but it feels like I've been a bit out of control on my eating.
The thought of surgery and the risks and the changes do seem to push me toward food. That combined with Mr. Goat's real desire to eat some foods he might not get an opportunity to eat again, possibly ever, well it feels a bit indulgent.
I'm not going to be surprised if I have a gain this week, even though I have not eaten all my activity points yet (my weeklies are long gone at this point). I'm going to have to take it one day at a time and make the best choices I can make at every single meal. The last thing I want is for Mr. Goat to make the changes and for me to be left behind.
Here is the thing about change though. Change is scary but it is also vital to moving forward. Seasons change. Weather changes. To change is to live. And I want to live a full and vibrant life. Mr. Goat does too. And so we change. A whole lot change is on the horizon.