Thursday, April 26, 2012

All True.

The following was found on Facebook by Garrison Keillor and is all true.  It made me smile today and I hope it does for you too. 
By Garrison Keillor

I have made fun of Lutherans for years - who wouldn't, if you lived in Minnesota? But I have also sung with Lutherans and that is one of the main joys of life, along with hot baths and fresh sweet corn.

We make fun of Lutherans for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like they do.

If you ask an audience in New York City , a relatively Lutheranless place, to sing along on the chorus of 'Michael Row the Boat Ashore,' they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their under-wear. But if you do this among Lutherans they'll smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the road!

Lutherans are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony. It's a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Lutherans to sing in harmony. We're too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment.

I once sang the bass line of Children of the Heavenly Father in a room with about three thousand Lutherans in it; and when we finished, we all had tears in our eyes, partly from the promise that God will not forsake us, partly from the proximity of all those lovely voices. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

I do believe this: These Lutherans are the sort of people you could call up when you're in deep distress. If you're dying, they'll comfort you. If you're lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you're hungry, they'll give you tuna salad!

The following list was compiled by a 20th century Lutheran who, observing other Lutherans, wrote down exactly what he saw or heard:

1. Lutherans believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.

2. Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.

3. Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

4. Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.

5. Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

6. Lutherans feel that applauding for their children's choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.

7. Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.

8. Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.

9. Some Lutherans believe that an ELCA bride and an LC-MS groom make for a mixed marriage. (For those of you who are not Lutherans, ELCA is Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and LC-MS is Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod. When and where I grew up in Minnesota , intermarriage between the two was about as popular as Lutherans and Catholics marrying.)

10. Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

11. Lutherans are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

12. Lutherans think that Garrison Keillor stories are totally factual.

13. Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole add too much color.

14. Lutherans believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

And finally, you know you're a Lutheran when:

*It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service;

*You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can;

*Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee;

*The communion cabinet is open to all, but the coffee cabinet is locked up tight;

*When you watch a STAR WARS movie and they say, :May the Force be with you," you respond, "And also with you."

Monday, April 23, 2012

Coming up for air

It has been a fast and slow week for me and the whole Goat household.  Mr. Goat continues to do well after surgery.  He gets worn out very quickly but he is eating well (just liquids so far) and things look good.  We have our follow up Doctor appointment on Tuesday.

It is strange to take a week off from work and to be more tired heading back to work than you were when you left, but the week has gone smoothly and I am grateful for that.  I am especially grateful to my father and Mr. Goat's parents for their help last week and to Melissa and Sara who brought us delicious Weight Watcher friendly meals for Little Goat and myself.  It made this week a lot easier.

I'm back at work and Mr. Goat still has another week at least of recovery before heading back to work himself.  Plus another 3 weeks or so until he can pick up Little Goat so I am digging in for the long haul of childcare, husbandcare and selfcare.  Despite always being busy at work, the upcoming month isn't too bad and I am confident that I can ride this change out.

In other news, my first post is up at PriorFatGirl.  I will be moving my weight loss blogging efforts there but will post links here for those of you who still wish to follow that part of the journey.  I hope I can maintain too blogs and will try, but it might be a bit quiet around here as I figure it out, so I'd love it if you visit me over at PriorFatGirl.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Weigh In Week 15

I went into this week determined to take good care of me and Mr. Goat and Little Goat.  It was surgery week, a BIG deal, and I wanted to navigate it well.  I wanted to make good choices and stay on track.  I wanted to prove to myself that I could handle this stress without getting off track.  I did.  This week:

- 7.6 Pounds
 40 lbs Lost to Date!!
I am now UNDER 300 lbs!!!

I think this proves it pretty definitively.  I am a little in shock.  I hoped to lose something, or hoped to lose the 3 lbs that I had gained last week.  Instead I blew both of those out of the water.  And it feels great.  It feels great to be in the 200s again.  It feels great to have lost 40lbs.  It feels great to have proven to myself that I can be in stressful situation and still take control of my eating.  It feels great that Mr. Goat goes home in a few hours and we can keep on doing this together.  Today feels great.

I'm not on my work computer so I won't share a picture of sugar with how much I've lost (8 5lb bags of sugar) but here is a comparison:  I have lost more weight than my 3' 2" toddler weighs.  He came in at 39 lbs at his 3 year check in last in March.  I've lost this 3 foot person from my frame.

It feels great to see a 2 in the front of my weight.  If feels good to be awaiting Mr. Goat's discharge instructions.  It feels so good.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

How I know.

Here are a few reasons that I know that I'm "in it to win it" with weight loss that I have experienced over the last few days.

* For Mr. Goat's last meal, I bought both regular brats and chicken/pork ones.  I didn't have any regular brats at all and didn't miss it.  I also didn't have any buns, preferring spicy mustard and cutting them.

* On the day of surgery I managed to make healthy choices all day long.  I ate three meals, met my Weight Watcher "Good health Guidelines" and managed to eat exactly my points.  When I realized that the cafeteria was NOT a healthy place for me to get food I figured out healthy delivery options. 

* Best of all, I thought before I ate anything.  I waited until I was hungry, kept up on the water and did not eat out of stress or anxiety (despite having plenty).  When I needed a private meltdown I went to the mediation chapel and not the vending machine.

* Today I kept up the good tracking and eating.  I had my father bring my Subway, ate a good breakfast but perhaps the most telling story was ordering dinner:  I found out I had to spend $15 to get Jason's Deli to deliver so I needed to add one more thing.  He started mentioning desserts as options (without my asking) and as he was talking the nurses came in to do something unpleasant to Mr. Goat.  Wanting to get off the phone I just said cheesecake and finished my transaction. 

After I got off the phone and the nurses left I thought about it.  I didn't really need the cheesecake.  I looked up the points - 14, the amount of weekly points I have left, but I knew I wouldn't need it with a side salad and a wrap on its way.  I stewed about what to do with the cheesecake.  When the food was delivered I made my move.  I paid and set out all my food.  Before even eating my dinner I took the cheesecake, walked down to the nurses station and offered them my cheesecake.  I had to work to convince the nurse I didn't want it, but I think they were grateful for the treat and I was grateful to see it go.

Now I did WANT the cheesecake, but it wasn't worth the points and I had more than enough food to make me full.  And the salad even sounded better.  So I gave cheesecake away after a day supporting my husband in the hospital.  And that when I knew that if I can do that today, with all that is going on, then I can do it anytime.  That is how I know that I'll make it this time.

* One final way I know?  I've been selected as one of the new PriorFatGirl's and will be moving my weight loss blogging over there in a little while.  I hope to still blog here in my own space and share about non weight loss stuff.  I'll keep you posted when I start blogging there too.  In the meantime tune in tomorrow for my latest weight loss results.  Hopefully this week will have a good number.  It should.

(P.S.  Mr Goat's recover continues to go well, we should be taking him home sometime tomorrow)

Monday, April 16, 2012

All is well

First and foremost, by all accounts Mr. Goat's surgery has gone very well.  It was routine with no complications so far.  He's been up for a walk once this evening and has been resting a lot.  Now he is enjoying ice chips and the Twins game.  Glad we are beating the Yankees.

It has been a tiring day.  I feel torn between wanting to see Little Goat and not wanting to leave Mr. Goat's side.  Luckily I know that Little Goat is in wonderful grandparental hands, even if I still feel like a bit of a delinquent for having E with others rightnow.  I had a little private meltdown this afternoon realizing that the next few weeks are going to be HARD on me.  Right now I'm torn between physical and emotional desires.  My emotions want me to be here with Mr. Goat, but my body is starting to protest its long stressful day.  I won't leave just yet.  Mr Goat's blood pressure has been fairly low - likely due to some dehydration - and I'd like to see the IV help raise it a bit before I go.

But we'll see.  I do need to care for myself too. 

I want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers today.  I could feel them as I waited during Mr. Goat's surgery.  It is a powerful thing to be aware of so many people loving and caring for your family.  We are blessed.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

T- 12 hours

In less than 12 hours Mr. Goat will be in surgery.  Or going under, or something.  The whole timeline is a little unclear to me.  All I know is that at this point tomorrow morning I'll be in a waiting room, Grandma will be wrangling a toddler, and Mr. Goat will be underway.

We are sitting here tonight and most everything is done (well not the dishes).  The T's are crossed, the I's are dotted, Grandma is here and the toddler is in bed.  The alarm goes off at 4am and we are on our way.  Surgery begins at 7:30.

It seems abrupt to people who are just hearing about it but the reality is that we have been preparing for this for over 8 months.  And now it is here and that in and of itself is a little scary.  There are what ifs and nerves, but we are also excited and confident that we are making the right choice.

My week has gone pretty well.  I've used a few weekly points for a burger and some lower fat brats, but I've stayed on track.  I haven't binged or eaten out of stress.  I worked out 3 times for over an hour and had light activity on the other days.  I even did a 5k on treadmills with friends on Friday and got my personal best - 50:56.  Not fast but it is good for me!

Tomorrow is the start of a new part of our quest for health.  It changes everything, but really it changes nothing too.  It is still up to us to make choices and use the tools that we are given.  Tomorrow Mr. Goat gets a big tool to help his journey and I am excited for him.

We have had so much kindness around this - prayers, good wishes and support.  We have Grandparents changing their schedules to be with Little Goat, we have friends and family keeping us in prayer, and a whole church praying for us too.  I am so grateful for the love and support.  Thank you.

I'm not sure when I'll post again this week but I will be on twitter and will keep people posted on how things go.   Thank you!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Prior Fat Girl Voting

The Future Prior Fat Girl voting is open.  If you didn't read my nomination you can do so, as well as the 8 other inspiring ladies who are up for being the next Prior Fat Girl.

I'd love it if you would go vote for one of us.  Please choose the person you really want to hear more from.  I'll blog either way whether it is here or there or both so just vote from your heart.  All 9 of us are on journey's that need a lot of support and voting this weekend is a way to support us all!

So vote!

I will update you all on Mr. Goat's surgery preparations later this weekend.  Monday is the big day so I imagine I will be fretting over on twitter if anyone wants to come to my virtual waiting room.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

20 Questions

Thank you for the support yesterday.  After a good eating day yesterday and an intense workout this morning I'm feeling a bit more focused and determined.  The truth is that this is a long road and a gain is just a small gain, but it is important to stop it at 3 lbs before it gets to 5, 8, 10 or more.  So I'm going to work on it.

I am also going to stay true to my own goals while supporting Mr. Goat.  Please know that he is 100% behind me and supports me all the way.  My failings last week were my own and no one else's.

Ok, now that that's done I thought we'd play 20 questions.  Here are some questions I have right now.  Please answer 1 or all 20 in the comments or on your own blog.  If you play on your blog please post a link here.

Oh and before I get that.  I have a nomination post up to be the next Prior Fat Girl today.  You can go visit if you want here.

20 Questions: Healthy Living Edition

1.  What is your favorite vegetable and way to prepare it?

2.  What do you like to pack for lunch to work?

3.  What is your favorite healthy dinner recipe?

4.  What is your favorite way of working out?

5.  Where do you buy your gym clothes?

6.  How often a week do you work out? (how often would you like to?)

7.  What is your "mantra" to help keep you focused on healthy living?

8.  What is one health goal you have for the next month?

9.  What is one health goal you have for the next 6 months?

10. What is one health goal you have for the next year?

11.  Do you have a favorite healthy salty snack?

12.  Do you have a favorite healthy sweet snack?

13.  Do you prefer to workout alone or with others?

14.  Do you prefer to workout in the morning, over lunch or in the evening?

15.  What is your favorite healthy breakfast?

16.  What is one food that you will not change to a low calorie version and plan your eating to eat the real thing?

17.  If you could tell someone who is struggling one thing that helped you what would it be?

18.  Do you have a favorite health related book that you've read?

19.  What is your favorite workout song?

20.  What is one thing that you are going to do TODAY to make today a healthy day?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Weigh In Week 14

I knew it was going to be bad.  And it was.

+ 3.0 Pounds
- 32.4 lbs Lost to Date

I want to make excuses - surgery, stress, birthday, Easter.  But the truth is I knew what I was eating.  I was eating bacon, and desserts.  I did well with Easter candy but ate plenty of other crappy for me things.

Honestly I am scared.  The week ahead is going to be stressful and difficult to work out.  I am facing meals out with some of my favorite foods as Mr. Goat wants some "last suppers."  I can't fault him for this desire but I'm not sure how to support him and stay strong myself.

I don't want to fail at this, but I'm so afraid that my progress is already starting to slip away.  What if I am not strong enough?

I should end this on a positive - with acknowledging how far I've come and some non-scale victories, but I'm just not feeling it.  I am my own weakest link and am ashamed of my choices this week.  I guess I should take heart that my "bad" week was still a lot healthier than my eating before, but it is a small comfort today.  

Monday, April 09, 2012

One Week

A week from now Mr. Goat should be out of surgery and we can start moving towards a new normal.   It blows my mind.  Just 10 days ago surgery was on the table but no date had been set.  Now we are nearly there.

I for one fluctuate between anxiety and excitement.  I am excited to see what strides we can make toward becoming healthier people, but it is scary too.  Just as I have always been "fat," I've always known my husband as overweight too.  We have no concept of what it means to be at a healthy weight.  It is almost like we have no real clue who we are going to become in the next year or two.

And that is scary.

I am glad we are doing this together, it is so much easier having someone by your side to support you, and I know I'm going to need it as will Mr. Goat. 

This weekend was a fun one - Mr. Goat's birthday celebration, Holy Week and Easter services and Easter brunch.  All told I've eaten like a pig this weekend, even if I have limited my choices and subbed out some things in order to spend points on what I've really wanted.  It isn't all bad but it feels like I've been a bit out of control on my eating. 

The thought of surgery and the risks and the changes do seem to push me toward food.  That combined with Mr. Goat's real desire to eat some foods he might not get an opportunity to eat again, possibly ever, well it feels a bit indulgent.

I'm not going to be surprised if I have a gain this week, even though I have not eaten all my activity points yet (my weeklies are long gone at this point).  I'm going to have to take it one day at a time and make the best choices I can make at every single meal.  The last thing I want is for Mr. Goat to make the changes and for me to be left behind.

Here is the thing about change though.  Change is scary but it is also vital to moving forward.  Seasons change.  Weather changes.  To change is to live.  And I want to live a full and vibrant life.  Mr. Goat does too.  And so we change.  A whole lot change is on the horizon. 

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Weigh In Week 13

This week was a challenge.  I worked out well, which was my saving grace because my eating wasn't on point.  It wasn't off plan exactly but it was just driven by more emotions, hormones, anxiety and stress than I'd like.  I used all my weekly points this week which I like to avoid.  I even dipped into my activity points.  Despite that I still did show a loss this week which I am grateful for.  I am even more grateful that today is the start of a new weigh in week!

-1.0 Pounds Lost
-35.4 lbs Lost to Date

A pound of weight loss is respectable and I will take it.  This week provides its own challenges, with Mr. Goat's birthday and Easter brunch both this weekend.   Beyond that I am struggling with the desire to eat my feelings and fears.  You see there is big news in the Goat household.  Mr. Goat is having gastric bypass surgery in a little under two weeks.

This may be a shock to you out there but Mr. Goat and I have been discussing it, praying about it, and researching it for nearly a year.  He's done all his prep work for insurance and the surgeon, lost about 24 pounds so far and got approval for the surgery last week.  The dates we were given were surprisingly close - one option in May and one in April. The April date worked better from his work stand point, so we've thrown our hat into the ring and are in full prep mode now.

I won't lie.  It is scary to me.  Beyond the actual risk of surgery and the pain of recovery, there are countless unknowns.  What will be our new normal?  I'm not sure.  I do know that we are determined to make healthy changes together and while I am not having surgery we are partners in this.  I am glad I have 3 months under my belt with the changes I need to make already.  This month will be a test of my new eating, tracking, working out habits as I see him through surgery and care for little goat and myself.  There are emotions and excitement and fear that swirl around me as I look at the month ahead and I need to keep them from spilling out into my eating habits.

Still I feel ready for the challenge.  I have support.  Mr. Goat has support.  We have so much love surrounding us that I know we can succeed in this.  We're in this together.

Monday, April 02, 2012

Friend Makin' Mondays

Weight Loss Blogger and all around awesome lady Kenlie does a fun post every Monday designed to learn more about others.  And since I've lots on my mind (but not so much that I can put on the blog yet) I thought I'd play along today.  And since it is all about when I was a kid it seemed like a very fun one to do!

When I was a kid…

  1. My parents told me…to stop picking on my little sister.
  2. I wanted to grow up to be a…astronaut, more specifically the first person on Mars.
  3. I refused to eat…tuna casserole.  I still don't like it even though I will now eat tuna.  *Shudder*
  4. My favorite thing to do outside was…neighborhood games of tag and others at dusk in the summer.  Also swimming.
  5. I broke my… nothing.  I've never actually broken a bone or anything.
  6. I liked to wear…whatever.  I wasn't too concerned with clothes.  That started when I got older.
  7. My parents always…tucked me in.
  8. I thought that Santa was…real until Kindergarten when my friend Maja from Norway spilled the beans.
  9. My favorite cartoon was...Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers
  10. I was the…oldest.
  11. I got in trouble when…I kicked in the screen door when I was mad and scared because I got home before my mom from school.
  12. My bedroom was…a place to read books.
  13. My favorite food was…ribs.
  14. My parents always made me…do my chores.  How mean! (Now I'm wondering at what age little goat can start doing work around the house!)
  15. My first crush was…My first real crush was Josh Price in 6th grade.  He was geeky, played trumpet like me, wanted to be an astronaut too and was so sweet.  He was Mormon so it never would have worked out, but I harbored a flame for him for years.
  16. My favorite toy was…My Breyer horses
  17. I thought school was…so much fun, except spelling.
  18. My biggest fear was…tornadoes.
  19. My favorite story was…Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Hobbit, and any of my mother's books.
  20. My favorite memories…Camp Onaway, Family Reunions in MI, learning to play Sheepshead with my family, game nights, etc.  I had a really lovely childhood.
If you want to play along to please add your link to Kenlie's post and then visit other blogs and say hello.  Or just tell me your answers in my comments too!

I hope to be back tomorrow with something concrete about what's going on in this head of mine!