I want to avoid this little blog of mine turning into a healthy living weight loss blog. No I really hope I am able to post some success in this manner I don't want to become a broken record. I am more than that I know. But right now, trying to figure out this healthy living is all I think about. I am checking and rechecking my points for the day. I'm tracking and getting to the gym and generally agonizing about whether I am eating too much or too little or what. The past two days I've had to dip significantly into my weekly points and it has me stressed out.
But I keep telling myself not to worry. Or trying to. I am not over my points yet and if I focus I won't go over my points either. There is still some room to spare. And I need to remember I haven't fallen off the program just because I made a few less-than-stellar choices. I'm not even over my total points.
I think the fear dwells in this: I've done Weight Watchers before, albeit in a half-hearted way. I never had much success, probably because of said half-hearted way. I am really afraid that even giving it my best effort I will not be successful. Somewhere it seems like sabatoge would be easier than the realization that I can't lose weight. It is absurd I know and in realizing it I'm doing my best to fight against that fear. I've never had a full week "on plan" so how could I even know. And I am going to see it through to see what happens.
I just hope I lose something. Wednesday seems forever away.
Like I said, I hope to talk about something other than my weight on this blog. And I hope that I will soon. But right now, that's what I've got.