Friday, January 06, 2012

Angry at a Turkey Sandwich

I realize that processing my emotions will be crucial for my journey but what I write here may sound a little absurd to those who don't have emotional eating related issues.

Today at lunch I was MAD at my subway turkey sandwich - with cheese, no mayo, honey mustard.  I have the points for that sandwich.  It was a good sandwhich, but I wanted to throw it across the room.


Minutes before I was in Target purchasing the things I needed for Sunday School this week.  I had a shopping list that took me down the candy aisle, and the chip aisle, and the baked goods, and the ice cream aisle.  Not to mention the Starbucks in the Target.

I made good choices and got only what I needed for Sunday School.  For myself (on my own dime) I got some Extra Dessert Delights Gum.

But later when eating my sandwich it made me mad.  It made me mad that I *had* to eat this while millions of people are shoving delicious bad-for-you foods in their mouths around the world.  It made me mad that mayo is 3 points.  And that the real work ahead of me means that I need to eat like this FAR more often and the other things need to be occasional budgeted treats.

Really, I know I'm more mad at myself than at a turkey sandwich.  This is a mess of my own creation, and I need to do the hard work to get out of it. 

The sandwich was good.  Loaded with veggies and well within my lunch points range.  I'm still on plan and actually doing well following it, but there are untapped emotions swirling around right now and I need to figure out a way to feel them and not let them derail me.

It is hard.  And that makes me mad.  But I'm not giving up.


Anonymous said...

I totally understand. I've been made a turkey sandwiches, salads and all kinds of other foods.

Keep up the good fight!

Kadbury said...

Ohmygoodness... I thought I was crazy and the only one that did that! :)
I'm constantly mad at my water bottle and the food in my house. My way out of it was to 'treat' myself to goodies, but somewhat healthier versions of what I had been eating. Instead of my Hershey bar with almonds, I have a 90 cal. chocolate Fiber One bar.
Kudos to you for being mad at that sandwich; to be mad at it you had to make the decision to get it in the first place.

Laura P said...

I completely understand. I think that about many things (exercise, food, beverages, clothing). But then I think of how I got to this point and I know by choosing this option over the other it will be beneficial. It might not cure my craving for salty french fries but it's a step in the right direction.

Melinda Ott said...

I have to admit that I've been in your shoes before and know all about being mad at sandwiches--or, in my case, salads.

Here's the thing--or, at least, the thing I've told myself so often that I now believe. I *get* to eat that salad/sandwich/whatever. Yes, others may be eating delicious crap, but I *get the choice* to eat something better.

I don't know if that helps you...but it helped me.

Misty said...

I totally get this! A book that has really helped me with this is When Food is Love by Geneen should check it out

Casey@LoveWhatIs said...

I don't know anything about Weight Watchers, so take this for what it's worth. :)

Would it help you to be able to have more of what you want on your sandwich if you made it instead of getting it from Subway? For exmple, could you make a turkey pita or wrap and decrease the carbs/bread in order to be able to give yourself a tablespoon of mayo?

Like I said, I don't know about WW so that might be a dumb suggestion. If it is, I apologize. I know that when I had to eliminate all the dairy from my diet while nursing my son, I had to find other ways to eat my favorite foods. I had pizza without cheese. I made my own desserts at home. I drank rice and almond milk instead of cow's milk. I don't know if that same idea would work for you though.

Best wishes and lots of support!

Marie said...

Every time I start Weight Watchers, (clearly, I've been in and out several times) there are days when I cry because I can't eat what I want. Sounds silly, but I totally relate. I do find that after sticking with it for a while, it gets easier (until I fall off the wagon). Kind of like quitting smoking. But I keep stopping and starting that habit, too.

I'm sure you were working today, but on the Kathie Lee and Hoda version of the 'Today Show' this morning, they featured three women who were half their size. Two of them did it on WW. It was quite the inspiration. I'm sure if you Google it, you'll find it. Hang in there, and go ahead and be mad at the stupid no mayo turkey sandwich.

scrubmama said...

I feel your pain! I am eating string cheese and air-popped popcorn instead of the chocolate and snack mix that I really want. Ugh.

I think about those people eating whatever they want all the time. And then I remember that they are the same people who get diabetes and heart attacks when they're older. I don't want to be like that. The payoff of eating right is huge...or at least that's what I tell myself when I walk past the bakery display.