I realize that processing my emotions will be crucial for my journey but what I write here may sound a little absurd to those who don't have emotional eating related issues.
Today at lunch I was MAD at my subway turkey sandwich - with cheese, no mayo, honey mustard. I have the points for that sandwich. It was a good sandwhich, but I wanted to throw it across the room.
Minutes before I was in Target purchasing the things I needed for Sunday School this week. I had a shopping list that took me down the candy aisle, and the chip aisle, and the baked goods, and the ice cream aisle. Not to mention the Starbucks in the Target.
I made good choices and got only what I needed for Sunday School. For myself (on my own dime) I got some Extra Dessert Delights Gum.
But later when eating my sandwich it made me mad. It made me mad that I *had* to eat this while millions of people are shoving delicious bad-for-you foods in their mouths around the world. It made me mad that mayo is 3 points. And that the real work ahead of me means that I need to eat like this FAR more often and the other things need to be occasional budgeted treats.
Really, I know I'm more mad at myself than at a turkey sandwich. This is a mess of my own creation, and I need to do the hard work to get out of it.
The sandwich was good. Loaded with veggies and well within my lunch points range. I'm still on plan and actually doing well following it, but there are untapped emotions swirling around right now and I need to figure out a way to feel them and not let them derail me.
It is hard. And that makes me mad. But I'm not giving up.