I've kept the food journal these last two days as well. I've been diligent and the results are...pretty ugly. I'm going to need to do some serious figuring out in the food department. I eat crap, and I eat too much, and I eat too much crap.
I also accomplished my third goal - facing the scale. I hesitate to post the number here because the number seems so judging to me. And it feels like admiting it will make you all judge me more than any words I write here.
But I need to face the reality of the number too. So here goes...335.8 lbs
(ducks head in shame)
If you ever had a sibling perhaps you have had the following exchange with any number of phrases filling the blank
Liz: "I _______ to a hundred!"That is what my weight loss journey feels like sometimes. That the task ahead of me is so daunting that it is infinite. It is that thinking that makes me delay in making the changes I need to. Because really infinity and infinity plus one are the same thing. They are both infinite. My stomach says that starting today is the same as starting tomorrow or the day after that because it is such an impossible, never-ending task that there is virtually no distinction between today and tomorrow.
Liz's sister: "Well, I _____________ to a thousand!"
Liz: "I _______ to a million!!"
Liz's sister: "Well, I _____________ to infinity!"
Liz's: "Well, I _____________ to infinity plus one!!"
But the reality is very different. The journey to wellness may be undefined but it is finite! There will be and end to it and I have to remember that just because something seems difficult doesn't mean it is a insurmountable challenge.
So you get the real honest number. I can't stop you from judging me, but the reality is fat people are judged everyday. We are judged by our society, but mostly we are judged by ourselves. I judge myself at the very same time as I avoid the issue.
So instead I am facing the issue and ditching the judgement. Or trying to.
And today, well, even if today is infinity, which its not, it is infinity minus two and that has to count for something.