Its been one of those weeks around here. I'm in a funk. And based on some of the blogs I've seen this weekend I'm not the only one. I am feeling irratible and just stuck. And it seems that all my postitive energy goes into trying to avoid taking my sour mood out on others.
Poor Mr. Goat, he can't win this week and I feel badly about it. Most attempts to help cheer me up are as irritating as trying to stay out of my way. And it isn't his fault; it is all in my head.
One of the many events of the week was my sleep study follow up. It turns out that I do have sleep apnea, and have it pretty severely. I apparently stop breathing and have to partially awake 66 times an hour. That is MORE than once a minute. Which basically means that I wake up every minute ALL.NIGHT.LONG. It is no wonder that I struggle with energy during the day.
I'm hopeful that getting a CPAP machine will help immensely and maybe even help my mood, but I am annoyed that I get to go in for another overnight sleep study to get tested and fitted for a machine.
I'm sitting home now with the baby in bed. I was supposed to go out and see Mr. Goat in concert, but my flakiness and the Halloween weekend meant that there were no sitters to be found. So I'm home. I should be cleaning or sorting things but instead I've succumb to emotional eating and bad tv, just like every night this week it seems.
I need to stop the freefall and that means changing my attitude and just doing some of the things that are frustrating and stressful and paralyzing. In a way I'm making progress by just blogging it out. That is one of the things I've felt like I "ought" to be doing lately and that has made it even harder to get my ideas down.
So I'm counting it as a paritial victory today. Tomorrow, well, I'll keep on trying tomorrow. Sorry for the bad attitude. I hope I'll be back in the groove soon.