Friday, September 10, 2010

The "Me" Time Paradox

Tonight I had two options after putting baby goat to bed (which was lovely since I've missed bedtime twice this week).

1.  Pack myself off after putting the baby to bed, driving a half hour, and heading to a bar to hand with all of the awesome MN Blog Conference folks that I will be hanging with tomorrow. 

or

2.  Putting on PJs, blogging, hanging with Mr. Goat and catching up on blog reading and reality TV.

And I was torn.  Mr. Goat was on board with either choice and even suggested I should go out and see my friends.  That is a wonderful "me" time that feeds me.

And after the crazy work hours I had this week the idea of sitting home and vegging was also "me" time.

But in a way they are directly in challege with one another.  One feeds an extroverted side of me.  The desire to be with friends and meet new people and be "doing" stuff.  The other feeds the introverted me. The desire to recharge and recoup and be ready for tomorrow in full form.

Not surprisingly I choose the introverted side but what is suprising is how torn I was about it.  It wasn't that long ago that my introvertedness dominated things to the point where I felt awkward with the amazing people I would meet.   Somewhere along this blogging journey that has changed.  It has changed in the new church job too. 

I feel more confident than ever before in my own identity and I am not as afraid of judgement as I once was.  The awkwardness still rears its head occasionally but my extroverted me is starting to relish in the company and the conversation more and more each day.

The fact that both of the options tonight were legitamate forms of "me" time is a sign to me of just how far I've come.  Ultimately staying in one out of sheer laziness and tiredness from the week and a desire to reconnect with my own family.

But I will be at the MN Blog Conference tomorrow with bells on.  Blogging has brought a greater sense of ME to me and I have a feeling I'll be blogging for a long time to come.

5 comments:

Emma said...

The tired me won last night, too! See you at the conference today!

Bonnie said...

Jealous a little, wishing I was going. Do they do this every year, or more often than that?

Rebecca said...

I'm sad I missed the conference today. I had a conflicting meeting. The extrovert in me would have enjoyed seeing you.

Hyacynth said...

Interesting how we grow into parts of our personality when we're allowed to flourish in a situation {job change was good, I think?!}.
Have a really fun time!

fritzfacts said...

I had that same choice, but knew that the limited time I have at home right now is so important!