Friday, May 21, 2010

A Hallway and a set of keys

Now that baby goat is really walking I like to let him practice in the hallway of the apartment on the way to the car.  We are all the way at the end and it is a nice stretch for him to walk (and it can be hard to carry all 30 lbs of him and anything else that you need to bring to the car too.)

Lately he has been fascinated with my car keys which I willingly hand over for the walk down the hall.  As we pass each door he toddles up to it and holds up the keys.  He knows that keys open doors and he wants each and every door open.  It is almost as if every door could be our destination and he's eager to check every.single.one.

There is something so hopeful in watching baby goat joyfully try to open every door, even though he can't even reach the door knobs and I've been thinking about this a lot as I try to formulate a response to Monday's Couch to 5k post.

I think I feel like baby goat on this weight loss journey.  I'm just starting down a long hallway of fatness and I have a set of keys.  Some might work along the way, some don't and I tend to pause at each door seeing if is the way out for me.  But I am like a child.  I'm learning slowly that not every door leads me to a place I want to go, and not every key works.

I know a lot of wonderful people urged me to put myself first in this process.  To rely on Mr. Goat's ability to put baby goat to sleep, to choose myself selfishly.  That has been a struggle to think about this week.  On the one hand I agree, and on the other I sometimes feel at odds about what I really want.  I want to be with my son at bedtime as he spends most of the day at daycare.  I want to go workout before 9pm.  I want to lose weight and I want to eat ice cream.

I wonder if the time is an excuse that isn't really apt.  Perhaps it more is way of hiding behind the times I choose a less healthful want.   I do need to evaluate my priorities and how to work out and still be present for my family in a way that is important to me.  I'm going to be working on it.  In the meantime I'm trying to find my key to making this journey a success for me.


And thank you for supporting me, even when it means sending some tough love.

6 comments:

Hyacynth said...

You are an amazing woman, Liz. You took some hard comments (all said with love), and you responded in a beautiful, honest way.

It IS hard to carve out time for yourself. It's especially hard for you because Baby Goat is in daycare all day, and you do WANT to spend time with him. I completely understand

A few suggestions Ok to share? If not skip the rest. :)

If you workout at Curves 3 times per week, you'll work every single major muscle group in 30 minutes while sustaining a cardio vascular workout and building muscle, which burns fat. If you could committ to three days a week of that and then committ to walking with Baby Goat the other days, you'd have a fabulous routine. And then you would only have to be away from Baby Goat 3 times per week for about 45 minutes. That's the beauty of the Curves workout. :)

Of course, just a suggestion. Will continue to support you in whatever you choose. I'd be happy to answer any Curves-related questions, though.

Robin said...

Great post and I know it's one you've been percolating for a while. It is a struggle, isn't it, when part of taking care of yourself is having those precious few moments with Baby Goat. You're a very thoughtful wife, mom, woman and you'll get to a point where you'll know what works well for you.

And on a completely different note, if BG is a "mouth-er" and your keychain includes a keyless entry remote, beware...my oldest loved to play with the keys but was a very oral child, leaving us with a useless remote. And those suckers are $$$ to replace!

Great to see you again last night and good luck on your garage sale! :)

The Marketing Mama said...

I appreciate the analogy there... Very nice. I remember when my first child was a baby. I felt so much guilt about being at work all day, that I wanted to spend every spare minute with him.

That continued for a long time, at least until after I had my 2nd kiddo. It wasn't until I had a realization one day that I was totally losing myself - to them, my husband, my job, etc. - that I started to be okay with being away from them, in fact, WANTING to be away from them... without feeling guilty.

I hope you can find that balance without having to lose yourself. I wish you all the best on this journey of yours. :) xoxo

Emma said...

This is a tough balancing act! I firmly believe that it's different for everybody. You have to find what works for you, including what kind of exercise you actually enjoy. And some people do better at certain times of the day. In the last year or so (because of you-know-who), I've switched to doing more of my workouts on my lunch break, and that's enabled me to still carve out time for myself. I hope you find a routine that works for you and your family!

Jen said...

Nice analogy. You are right that some things will work and some won't. You also made a good point about the fact that it's not that you (we) don't have time, it's just that we all choose differently how to use it. Eventually, you'll settle into a routine and set of priorities that works for you.

DaisyGal said...

oh wow, you know how you read things and it's the RIGHT THING at the RIGHT TIME..WHOA!

I am sharing your struggle with the weight loss stuff too...and the fibromyalgia makes it that much harder, I am TIRED and sore even before I can work out and be tired and sore.

You're just amazing to me, to be this blunt and honest, to know your wants and express them.

I also love hearing about Baby Goat, the learning to walk thing is great isn't it??? Mine walk up the stairs now without holding on..I hold my breath, they already look at me like "MA...CHill"

loved this post and I love the new "BRIGHTER" Blog !!!!