Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Fears

Jen, at Prior Fat Girl, recently posted a beautiful post about people's fears regarding losing weight.  As I wrote a novel of a comment about my own fears it occurred to me that I should write them here instead.  Sharing makes me accountable, and some how bringing fears into the sunlight can help me wrap my mind around what keeps me from making progress.  After all, when it comes to weight loss my progress speed can best be described as glacial.  So here are my weight loss fears.  Would you like to share yours?

I am afraid.

I'm afraid I'll never get my act together and lose the weight.

I'm afraid of stepping on the scale, the heartache of failure, the slowness of progress.

I'm afraid of being tripped up by myself, or special events, or the simplicity of processed accessible, cheap foods.

I'm afraid that if I do manage to lose weight I'll gain it all back.

I'm afraid of the example I set for my son.

I'm afraid that I'll always be messed up and have neurotic food issues even if I do lose weight.

I'm afraid I'll never get to have birthday cake, ice cream, or dessert again.

I'm afraid of hormones and emotional eating.

I'm afraid of the slippery slope, the plateau, the judgment.

I am afraid of the 1 mile run.

I am afraid of chicken, never ending chicken.

I'm afraid of sodium and High Fructose Corn Syrup. 

I'm afraid of always being "fat" even if I find a way to be skinny.

I'm afraid of the cost.

I'm afraid of finding the time and the energy.

I'm afraid of being derailed by colds, work, and real life.

I'm afraid of staying the same and afraid of changing.

But mostly... I am afraid of doing nothing because of my fears.

16 comments:

Suzi said...

I think you are brave for posting your fears. :) You can do this, Liz. WE can do this! Good for you to post this. I think I might do the same. Jen's post really got to me today--especially seeing my "fear" from her get-together printed and online right in front of me. :) I believe in you.

Kate said...

Thank you for sharing your fears. We all have them, and they hide in obscurity, gaining more and more control over our lives. They become huge, insurmountable and grow teeth that they sink into us to hold us fast. Sunlight kills them, shrinks them to the small mortal beasts that they are so they can be slayed. We just need to admit them, to ask for others to help us, support us and walk with us. You're starting out on this journey that others have walked, and you are not alone. I'm so glad you are reaching out.

Jen, a priorfatgirl said...

wow - how true that your fears are my fears. They are our fears. Now...to figure out what to do with them? I'm thinking drop kicking them to the South Pole!

Minnesota Mami said...

I could relate to so many of yours too. But something about stating our fears and talking about them takes the power out of them. Those fears will not control them. Bit by bit we will kick those fears to the curb! ...or the South Pole!

Holly @ Making Over Me
http://makingoverme.blogspot.com
@bloggymama

Valerie said...

Ok, the fear of HFCS is legit. Have you ever worked with that stuff? It's disgusting! I used to not eat anything that had it in the ingredients. I've fallen off the wagon, but I really should get back on. It's amazing how much better I felt without it.

Other than that, kudos for admitting your fears. That's a pretty brave thing to do.

Random Tangent said...

you are one BRAVE momma! you have inspired me to face my own fears, a lot of which echo yours. saying...or typing them out loud takes away their power. just look at all the support you have...you CAN and WILL do this!

destinationathlete said...

These two lines struck me the most:
"I'm afraid of staying the same and afraid of changing.

But mostly... I am afraid of doing nothing because of my fears. "

Just remember - everything is just one foot in front of the other. We can stumble, we can go sideways - but we still move forward. One foot after the other.


It's super scary to admit your own fears...and even though I linked here from Jen's blog - I'm really proud of you and will be following your blog from now on!

Samantha said...

The struggle between all the fears associated with the struggle of getting healthy... and then the fear of not doing anything about it. I get that completely and I am totally with you.

Kudos for you for posting this. It is incredibly moving and I'm sure many people can relate. Suzi is right... we can do this. Not only CAN we do it, but we deserve it! We deserve to feel good about ourselves.

As for drop kicking our fears to the South Pole? I'm totally up for that too. :-D

Rebecca said...

I heard something recently about people who lose weight being afraid of losing part of who they are - physically and emotionally - as if they are no longer the same person. I don't want to add to your list of fears, but I'm curious if this is something that you are afraid of. I think it's true of anyone undergoing major physical change, whether gaining weight, losing weight, etc...

liz said...

You are brave! And you can do it. I support you!!!

Recovering Procrastinator said...

Good job acknowledging your fears. That last one trumps them all though. You can do it.

(I don't get the chicken one. Are you saying you think it's the only meat you'll ever get to eat??)

KK @ Running Through Life said...

You are brave! Thank you for sharing! And know that many of us, myself included, have many of your fears. You are not alone!!!!!!!!

Kristie said...

Right there with you sister! I have many of those same fears myself. My main fear is being a failure so what do I do? Nothing, can't fail if you don't try right? Crazy isn't it? I'm here to support you all the way whatever you need.

Jess said...

I used to be in the same boat as you. And, surprisingly, I've conquered some of my fears. My top fear though, is losing a ton of weight, then gaining it all back, because I've done that 3 times already. Well, not gain it ALL back, but some of it. And it's the yo-yo dieting that just freaks me out. But you've got a great support network here. All of us are here to listen, here to keep you accountable.

You can conquer your fears one at a time too. It might take a long time, but you'll face them and defeat them :)

The Fritz Facts said...

We all have our fears, and I am so proud of you for posting yours! It takes so much courage to do that. I am in the same boat as you, the fears always seems to hold me back. I am here to let you know that I am here, in the same boat as you facing my fears one day at a time! We can do this! Together!!!

Marie said...

My friend, I couldn't have said it better. In fact, I'm going to put my fears about losing weight in my bag, my planner, on my fridge and where ever else I deem necessary. Your honest thoughts are so wise and I love your courage. Thank you.
Marie