I love blogging. I also love meeting new people despite my introvert nature. I love to hear and read stories. Tell me your stories! (Maybe this is why my Google reader seems a mile long most of the time). And I love opportunities that allow me to hang out with the awesome people, whose awesome stories I've come to know.
You guys it is such a joy to meet fellow bloggers. They are so kind and open and wonderful. Even in their snarkiest moments they are giving and joyous and I confess whenever I meet more of them I am a little in awe.
It isn't anything that they have done to make me feel uncomfortable it is just my own confusion about how I can be a part of such a cool group of women. Sometimes in those events I am so worried of the impression that I am making that I blurt out strange and random things. Am I trying to be funny? I don't know, I just am trying to be a part of the group.
I think I end up that way a lot of times in groups of women. My perception is that I am just on the cusp of a really cool group and I want to be one of them. More often than not I am accepted outright but for some reason I always struggle with the feeling that I'm outside looking in.
It is my own Ralph Wiggum syndrome. Ralph is the character on the Simpson's who you look to for a dumb phrase or a joke. He is beloved, in his way, but is more indulged than welcomed. Now I should say that this is absolutely completely IN MY OWN HEAD, but I can't help but see these fabulous women and wonder how it is that I am a part of them.
I wonder if I should even post this. I don't want to fish for compliments, it isn't about that, but as I am starting to meet more and more bloggers I find myself feeling this way more often. It is just me, something I've always struggled with, but I don't want to feel left out because of my own feelings of inadequacy.
It is true, I will often be the smart-ass dumb joke teller in a crowd. That comes from my father and is a long family tradition, but I have to find a way of feeling part and parcel of the others. There blogs are so good. I mean have you looked at them lately.
They are honest, and beautifully written. They have beautiful pictures and professional layouts. They have heart, and faith, and compassion, and kindness in spades. They invite me to parties and volunteer events. They are people like Missy, or Kim, or Samara. Or Darcie, Beth or Kate. Or Trish, Suzi, Roxane, and Jen. And so many others...I cannot list them all.
They make me want to write more, and travel half-way across the country to go to blogging conferences, and buy fancy cameras.
But more importantly they make me want to be a more confident and fabulous me than I already am.
And that is what this post is about.
It isn't about being the outcast, it is about being welcomed even in the midst of my own feelings of inadequacy.
I'm by no means perfect, but I am still a part of this blogging community.
And I am honored.