Monday, February 22, 2010

The Ralph Wiggum of Blogging

I love blogging.  I also love meeting new people despite my introvert nature.  I love to hear and read stories.  Tell me your stories!  (Maybe this is why my Google reader seems a mile long most of the time).  And I love opportunities that allow me to hang out with the awesome people, whose awesome stories I've come to know.

You guys it is such a joy to meet fellow bloggers.  They are so kind and open and wonderful.  Even in their snarkiest moments they are giving and joyous and I confess whenever I meet more of them I am a little in awe. 

It isn't anything that they have done to make me feel uncomfortable it is just my own confusion about how I can be a part of such a cool group of women.  Sometimes in those events I am so worried of the impression that I am making that I blurt out strange and random things.  Am I trying to be funny?  I don't know, I just am trying to be a part of the group.

I think I end up that way a lot of times in groups of women.  My perception is that I am just on the cusp of a really cool group and I want to be one of them.  More often than not I am accepted outright but for some reason I always struggle with the feeling that I'm outside looking in.

It is my own Ralph Wiggum syndrome.  Ralph is the character on the Simpson's who you look to for a dumb phrase or a joke.  He is beloved, in his way, but is more indulged than welcomed.  Now I should say that this is absolutely completely IN MY OWN HEAD, but I can't help but see these fabulous women and wonder how it is that I am a part of them.

I wonder if I should even post this.  I don't want to fish for compliments, it isn't about that, but as I am starting to meet more and more bloggers I find myself feeling this way more often.  It is just me, something I've always struggled with, but I don't want to feel left out because of my own feelings of inadequacy.

It is true, I will often be the smart-ass dumb joke teller in a crowd.  That comes from my father and is a long family tradition, but I have to find a way of feeling part and parcel of the others.  There blogs are so good.  I mean have you looked at them lately.

They are honest, and beautifully written.  They have beautiful pictures and professional layouts.  They have heart, and faith, and compassion, and kindness in spades.  They invite me to parties and volunteer events.  They are people like Missy, or Kim, or Samara.  Or Darcie, Beth or Kate.  Or Trish, Suzi, Roxane, and Jen.  And so many others...I cannot list them all.

They make me want to write more, and travel half-way across the country to go to blogging conferences, and buy fancy cameras.

But more importantly they make me want to be a more confident and fabulous me than I already am.

And that is what this post is about.

It isn't about being the outcast, it is about being welcomed even in the midst of my own feelings of inadequacy.

I'm by no means perfect, but I am still a part of this blogging community.

And I am honored.

10 comments:

Unplanned Cooking said...

I can relate. Sometimes I think we writers write because we're the observers on the fringe. Or maybe we do it to soothe our anxiety. Either way. I'm glad I've found your blog and met you!

darcie said...

you? an introvert? Are you kidding me? The very first time I met you I knew you were something special...and I didn't have to pry it out of you!
you are an amazing woman and you have a LOT to contribute!
Can't wait to see you again really really soon!

simplicity said...

Liz, one of the things I've noticed about you is the way that you are welcoming and inclusive to EVERYONE. That is something fabulous and confident about that and you've gone and done that to me not just once, but twice now! looking forward to seeing you at the next thingamajig! :)

Laura said...

I'm surprised you feel this way. I just remember you being so friendly and welcoming. I love this post tho. I don't think you're on the cusp...you're right in there with your thoughtful and honest writing.

Kim said...

Liz, it is funny because this is one of the reasons I haven't been writing. I've been questioning who I am in the blogosphere ever since Cupcake and FMSC. I'm an introvert who found herself surrounded by amazing people who now has no idea how or where she fits.

I couldn't get the words out and hit publish myself, but as I often find, someone in the blog world has done it for me.

So, all of that to say, I understand.

Amelia Sprout said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amelia Sprout said...

I don't think I have met a blogger yet who doesn't feel this way on some level.
I loved getting to meet you, even though it was so brief, and you seemed very confident to me. I hope I get to spend more time talking to you the next time that we meet.

Becky B said...

Liz, you're a great blogger! In fact, you're one of the people who inspired me to write my own blog. I always like reading your posts, and I feel honored that you read mine in return! Really, I just started it because I had things on my mind and wanted to channel them somehow. The blog has been a great thing for me, as I'm sure it is for you. Keep it up!

Anti-Supermom said...

Liz, you are a beautiful writer - full of heart and wisdom - this comes out when a person meets you in person. Just like others have said, you are amazing.

I'm honored that you even included me in this list.

Kate said...

I could have written this post. That's me too, in a nutshell. I tell people I'm introverted and they look at me like I'm crazy, but my stomach twists into knots before every social event I go to, whether or not I'm greeted with cheers, which lately, has been the case and I can't believe how blessed that makes me feel. To be sought out, to be invited, to be the person that someone is excited to see, to be told that you're inspiring and creative and all those aspects of yourself that you doubt. This blog network is filling all of us with something amazing. I'm so excited to see where it takes us.