Today didn't go as I planned. I kept meaning to get work done (cleaning, work, papers, etc) and my attempts seemed to fizzle at each try. I did meet M and S for lunch. S was baby goat's first live in girlfriend in the NICU and it has meant so much that we've kept in touch. They came to our NICU room in our final two weeks there. I remember we'd been there for almost 5 weeks already. We had a routine going, heck I was back at work in an attempt to preserve some leave for when baby goat came home. Baby goat was gaining weight and while breast feeding was still a vain attempt, coming home was becoming a reality.
M was in a different place. She was in the beginning. She was in the guilt of delivering too early ( in her case at 35 weeks due to preterm labor) and the pain of leaving her child in the NICU. I remember she didn't want to leave the hospital ever. Her family had to remind her to eat for her milk to come in. We would sit in our room with curtain pulled trying to breastfeed our tiny children, frustrated and crying, and we would talk. It was cathartic to me to share our story and show how far we'd come. When I felt frustrated I was able to say - look where we are now! I hope it was helpful to her too.
So Friday we had lunch. Baby goat went to daycare for their Valentine's party even though I was mostly home all day but I got to see little S. She is 10 months old and a perfect doll - fiesty and precious. She is Edward's first girl and M and I know the reality of leaving our children in room 4 in the NICU. And we know the joy of not being there any more and of seeing our children grow and thrive. It seems so far away now and just yesterday too.
In a miracle of all miracles, Mr. Goat and I both had no immediate responsiblities on the same day! So we packed up baby goat and went to lunch and the zoo.
Lunch was an adventure - sometime in the last few weeks baby goat's reach and dexterity has gotten good. Too good. Jars-on-the-floor, Kleenex-in-the-mouth good. Also fast. I felt bad for the poor staff at Red Robin. At least one jar of baby food was shattered on the floor. I learned the lesson of always bringing extra food with you - but baby goat did seem to enjoy his small bit of steak fries. (no surprises there)
We went on to the zoo and he was more interactive than when we'd gone in August. He particularly liked the aquariums and the birds in the tropics trail. It was a wonderful day doing toddler fun stuff which seems strange to me, but then I realize that we really do have a toddler now, or nearly. Blows my mind.
Why hello there, do you come here often?