I went to the car dealer this morning. I made an appointment because my check engine light had come on. It seemed to be running fine so I wasn't
too worried but still I wanted to get checked out in case there was something that desperately needed fixing. After all, my car was only two years old. It was an aggravation to an already stressful week, but if it didn't checked out now it was going to be another week plus before I had time to do it again.
And so I showed up (late - a baby-related concept I'm still not comfortable with) to my appointment expecting aggravation. Instead I spent a leisurely 45 minutes reading my book (the first real break I've had in weeks) only to be called back to discover:
1. It wasn't the gas cap so I didn't have foolish user-error embarrassment
2. It was an easy fix (in fact they had already finished it)
3. It was under warranty so there was no cost
4. By checking it out right away I was a better eco-citizen. (It was some valve that controlled emission levels or something - not dangerous broken just less environmentally friendly)
5. My car had been washed and was all set to go and would I have a nice day. (Thank you I would).
It was by far the easiest experience I've had at a car repair shop, but more than that it was by far the easiest solution to a problem in my life in the last several months.
There has been so much going on with pre-eclampsia and the NICU, with balancing the new baby and work, with VBS, with Mr. Goat's job search, and finances, and medical bills, and EVERYTHING. It was overwhelming and nothing seemed to have an easy solution.
In fact it took me a while to realize today why this morning's experience seemed so foreign and it dawned on me that everything about our lives right now has seemed drawn out, complicated, frustrating or some combination of all three.
One of the readings in the
lectionary this week is the disciples/Jesus in a storm on the Sea of Galilee. The disciples are freaking out in the storm (something I excel at) and Jesus is just SLEEPING! Eventually the disciples wake him up full of accusations about how they were going to drown and why couldn't he DO SOMETHING already. And of course, Jesus does.
I've thought about that a lot today. I keep looking around the storms clouds swirling and fighting back my own panic a lot. Life is great and happy but there are lots of real life worries out there, and pretty much everyone has something similar going on in this economy. There are days that I just scream (silently) for God to "DO SOMETHING." Answers, especially good ones but even ones that you don't really want to hear, seem better than waiting in anxiety. Like the disciples, what ifs and the storm clouds can be scary and it is made worse to think that GOd might be sleeping on the job.
But he's not really. He may be taking his time, but answers are coming, they may just not come until we freak out completely. But is it really a divine intervention if we haven't reached out wits end?
When I was young I was TERRIFIED of tornados. A storm or even a windy day left me cowering in the basement. My father would tease me about it, singing the tornado theme from the
Wizard of Oz
when the storms would threaten. But at the same time, he would get me out of bed every single time there was a warning in the middle of the night and carry me to the safety of the basement, and most of the time I wouldn't even wake up. I've outgrown my fear these days (mostly) but the memories of being carried to safety remain.
Perhaps I'm not yet aware of how we are being carried safely away from the storms now? Already we've been whisked free from the traumatic end to my pregnancy, and from the day to day life of a NICU baby. Maybe tomorrow sun will burst through another storm at a simple word? Stop. Enough. Be Still. And it will be. Afterall, even the disciples in their doubt and anxiety were saved. My own worries aren't any different.
It can't always be as easy as the car repair today. It can't always be clearcut from the getgo. It can't always happen when we want it to. It is hard to wait but our word is coming...