Edward James

Mr. Goat here again, to announce the birth of Edward James by cesarean at 3:08 this afternoon.
4 lbs. 7 oz.
18 3/4 inches
He is doing well and with be in the NICU for awhile. Liz is OK, she will have a rough night and a difficult couple of days.
Please, no calls or visits until further notice.
Mr. Goat, Daddy.

Guest Blogging from the Hospital.

Dear Blogland,

Mr. Goat here, guest blogging from the hospital.

Today is the day. Liz is tentatvely scheduled for a c-section this afternoon at 1:40. She's on a Magnesium Sulfate drip right now and she's scared. Even so, she has taken this all very well. I'm impressed and very proud of her.

Liz's parents are here and my parents and my sister will be here in time for the main event.

This isn't quite how we expected to meet Zy-GOAT, but it will be OK. Babies born at this point do very well, and Liz is stronger than she thinks she is. I however, found myself wondering if I should shave and trying to decide what might be an appropriate baby-meeting outfit. I concluded that a tuxedo would be appropriate, but maybe too cumbersome.

Thank you for all you thoughts and prayers; and visits calls and emails. Your support is palpable and much appreciated.

Mr. Goat, Esq.

The latest news

Hi everyone,

Thank you all for the good wishes and thoughts you have sent my way. If I have not yet responded to your call or email I apologize, but life on bedrest has been surprisingly busy so far. I do intend to reply as I am able but I wanted to give you all an update so you don't worry (or can at least worry more specifically if you are anything like me!).

I have been officially diagnosed with preeclampsia - which is no big surprise given my blood pressure and the protein in my urine. I am certainly in the hospital until I deliver and every day that my numbers stay consistent is a good day for Zy and myself. We have recieved the steroid shots and are prepared to deliver at any time if numbers increase past a certain level.

The goal - 34 weeks. The probablity - less than that. I am 33 weeks tomorrow - which means I suspect to be introducing you to Zy in a very short while. I am mostly in good spirits today having made it through the tests and the questions and ending up on the other side with a game plan. Obviously a lot can still happen but I feel confident in my doctors and the wonderful nurses here at the hospital. (And seriously, anyone called to be nurse is a saint in my book - I have wonderful women caring for me here).

I am scared - some days more than others, but I know that the best is being done that can be at this time. I am struggling a bit with the conviction that it is my body that is failing Zy-goat, but I cannot dwell there. And truth be told - for all that is plaguing me, Zy seems fine - thriving even. His ultrasound today showed an estimated gestational age of 34 weeks and a 5lb 1 oz frame (give or take 3/4 lb). Obviously this is all speculation, but he continues to pass his tests with flying colors.

It seems clear that the burden is primarily on my body at this time - from the 40 lbs I've gained in about 3 weeks (almost all fluid) to the fatigue from being on bed rest and a cocktail of drugs. But it is all worth it to bring my son into this world and I am confident that the doctors are not going to take me past what my body is able to handle. It does mean coming to grips with an almost certain c-section (which terrifies me) and a child certain to spend some time in the NICU but those are things I can deal with.

Prayers are always welcome. This has been a challenging weekend and I'm glad to be on side of plans and not questions. Much of today was taken up with consultations trying to figure out the right plan and the right triggers for us and I feel we found a good balance.

I will try to check in so you guys know how things are going. Thank you all for your prayers and support. They mean such a great deal to me, Mr. Goat and Zy.

The scoop

Here is the scoop for those who want to know. It turns out that I'm not leaving the hospital tomorrow. In fact, I'm not leaving until I deliver. That could be tomorrow if things go crazy (seems unlikely), it could be around my due date in 8ish weeks (also seems unlikely). In reality it will be some place in between.

My BP is still mostly stable and I went on my higher dosage just now but my 24 hour urine collection did have some protein in it. This combined with the fact that I've gained like 30 pounds in less than a month all point to some preclampsia going on. Still it seems like it is a bit mild right now, and most of my other tests are staying the same. That is why things are so up in the air.

In good news Zy-goat is swimming around nicely and today measured about 4.5 lbs in our ultrasound estimate. He continues to do well and all my bloodwork shows that he's getting the necessary nutrients. I did get the first of a two steroid shots today just in case we deliver sooner than later but he looks like he's still content for the long haul.

So it just becomes a waiting game between the risks and the benefits for Zy. I won't lie, it is way to scary, but in a way I'm glad to be here and well taken care of. And I know that this is temporary and will most likely end up well. Still keep us in your prayers. There is lots going on and this will certainly keep things interesting.

For those who know my IRL you can email, call or visit if you want. I've got a lot of resting and baby-growing to do at the moment and not much else. Thanks for your support.

Here until Monday.

Well, it looks like I won't be sprung until Monday at the earliest. My BP has stabilized mostly but it isn't quite where they want it to be yet. And so since the med that I am on really needs 48 hours to kick in so they can't increase my dosage until Sunday night at the earliest. So I'm here at least until Monday morning.

It is getting...annoying. And I am still grateful for annoying and boring.

Still there is some real fear here too. I have compression things that keep me from getting a blood clot since I am stuck in bed. I am almost certainly not going to be able to attend the shower in WI next weekend. I feel horribly guilty about it even though my friends are awesome and understand. I still don't know what that plan is in the end.

There is a lot up in the air still, and when I am sprung from the hospital I'm in for a large increase in doctor's visits, BP checks, bedrest and ultrasounds from now until I deliver. The details are still a bit unknown but that is where we are headed.

I am lucky though that it is just BP so far and all of my other tests are not showing signs of preclampsia. I hope the meds will change it, but ultimately this is something that only delivery will help in any significant way. I just want to find the right balance between what is a good time for Zy and for my body. My doc is on top of it though and even came in to check on me today when she wasn't even on call.

So I'll just sit here swelled up and a waiting. Zy continues to look good and punch me in the sides. We have another ultrasound tomorrow to check his weight but he seems to be doing well. So keep us in your prayers but things are still in limbo. We are taking things one day at a time.

Here overnight

Well, I am here for the night at least. They are giving me my old meds and some new trying to bring things down further. I'm getting the 24 hour urine collection to check for protein and other than that I am just here. In a way it is boring - mostly lying down, drinking water and ever few hours getting my BP taken, but I will take boring ANY DAY at this point.

The doctor stopped by this evening as she left the clinic. It sounds like I'm going to be mostly homebound for the rest of things but much of that will be clearer by the end of the weekend. Not sure what that means for work or the rest of my obligations right now but I'm not worried about that just now. I'm just glad I'm already 32 weeks and that Zy has been bouncy and active all day long. We'll just take things one day at a time now.

Greetings from Labor and Delivery

No, I am not in labor.

But I did go in to get a BP check at the clinic today and it was quite high. So I got sent over here. It has come down somewhat and they are working to change some meds around and do a few tests but it doesn't look like I'm here for the long term yet. As of now my tests look ok, no protein in my urine and I have a very active Zy hanging out. I'll keep you posted as I know more but that is the scoop right now.

It's too bad because I had things to do today and am supposed to be at a work conference right now but it is not to be. Instead I'm just hanging out. Keep us in your prayers. While 32 weeks isn't a horrible time to deliver I'd like to make it full term for a variety of reasons! Hopefully this is just a bump in the road.

New options needed...

Ok people, I need options for high protein, low salt, pregnancy friendly lunch options. I do have a kitchen that I can use but it is normally gross and I tend not to use it even when I have the option. though I feel better about the fridge than the rest of the place. Do you have any suggestions? I could use some new options from the peanut butter and low sodium crackers that have been making up the bulk of my lunch diet lately. Thanks in advance.

Re-emerging

Sorry blogland, I have been undercover for a few days here. I got to a point where I couldn't deal and just needed to rest and cry and get to a place where I could deal again. It was just all SO HARD. And it culminated with a doctors appointment where my BP was up a bit - I'd gained 12 lbs in 2 weeks and my feet felt like watermelons. I was utterly convinced that I was on the road to preeclampsia and due to deliver way too early. (Despite these things my doctor doesn't seem overly concerned yet and has done the necessary bloodwork and stuff. It all came back fine so far, and we are watching it because we know to watch it).

But it all hit me and I was DONE. I am the fattest I have EVER been (no small feat for me) and I know it is pregancy and ok but it hit me harder than I expected. My body was tired, my mental and emotional states even more harried. Even things that should be straightforward seemed to want to throw curve balls last week.

I am trying to drink lots of water and eat low in salt but would look at our "budget" (if you can call no money to spare a budget) and think how can I do that when we can afford ramen and peanut butter.

But the thing about being done is that the world keeps turning. And before you know it the panic you felt isn't quite as urgent. The facts you can deal with change from new knowledge to acknowledged facts. And your responsibilities remind you that you keep going - whether it be a swift kick in the ribs from a little Zy or a group of Sunday School kids needing a program run. And so you take a day or two or a few and dissappear and then you come out of your shell and start again.

And maybe you are more than a little embarrassed for the dissappearing act and the drama you caused, but you can't promise it won't happen again. Just maybe not today.

And you drink your water, and you do the best you can, and you choose to trust your doctor's opinion because she actually has a degree - not to mention she had preeclampsia with all 3 of her pregnancies. And you put your feet up to stop the swelling, and buy a pair of ugly expensive shoes on credit for the sole reason that you need something to wear during the day. And you push forward.

And you think that you are a day away from 32 weeks, and you savor your son's squirms and kicks and hope everything holds out long enough for you to be ready, but even if you aren't you know you'll just be as ready as you can in any given moment.

And you discover that DONE, isn't fully done, it is just a rest, a pause, a moment.

And you start again.

P.S. I need to stop blog-hopping for fun. I inevitably find all of these blogs where babies have died - cord accidents, unexplained stillbirth, etc, etc. And I get sucked in because I'm that type of person, and then i just WORRY. Do I feel him move enough? Is everything OK? Ugh. Can I just stop my brain please?

Random Thoughts - friends edition

We have very wonderful friends and family. Here are some random thoughts about the way they've helped us lately. You know who you are and thank you!

* They met us last minute for dinner to help answer questions about interview prep that Mr. Goat was doing.

* They left their family at 9pm on a Friday night to bring an SUV that could fit our newly picked up crib and take it to our apartment.

* They came and bailed us out on Sat when we still thought we could fit the glider into the car despite the crib fiasco from the night before.

* They plan to come visit this weekend to help the family move up the changing table and take out the train table to storage.

* They plan to throw me a shower.

* They schedule a weekend in March to come and help you organize your nursery because they know it stresses you out even though (because?...lol) it means a long drive and leaving the kids at home.

* They pray that Mr. Goat will find a job and that it will all work out.

* They freely give pregnancy and labor advice, even telling me to call at wee hours of the morning if I am freaking out.

* They are patient with my freak outs and hormone swings.

* They meet for coffee.

* They leave notes on facebook and the blog which cheer me up and reminds me that people are out there supporting us.

* They support me and love me in my flaws.

* They encourage me to not live in anxiety but joy and hope.

* They do all of that from far away and nearby.

Very lucky today and always. Thanks guys. Mr. Goat and I love you!

List-lessness

Excuse me a Monday temper tantrum. Blame it on the hormones if you must, or the fact that I'm just really tired and cranky (possibly from hormones).

I really hate Mondays right now. Every Monday I come into work, make a new list of what needs to get done that week and I always have to transfer tons of misc. items from the previous week. It doesn't matter if these are work related or personal or something completely random. I hate having to transfer those things. I hate having to start the week over. And I'm really starting to worry about the rapidly dwindling time remaining on my big leave list - otherwise known as the ACK-we-are-in-no-way-ready-for-a-baby list.

I don't dislike the lists and as the week progresses I feel glad when I can cross stuff off. In fact I've been known to add something I just did to the list just to cross it off. Deep down I'm only sort of a list person, but pregnancy brain is making them more necessary for everyday living. But their necessity is real now.

Most Mondays it is just part of the task but as things move forward it is getting a more troublesome one - to the point where I haven't even made this weeks yet, I've just been going off the old one. I can't face a whole new set of challenges this week. It seems challenging enough to remember to drink enough water, eat lunch and hopefully get some good sleep.

And even there I feel like I get a big FAIL.

I try to remember all the good stuff I finished from last weeks list - we picked up the crib (more of a challenge than anticipated), the glider (dumb furniture company did not send the 4 bolts needed to put it together - we hope to have them in 4-6 weeks?!), I ran several church events, did some serious purging/cleaning in the back room, not to mention work.

And mentioning work - I managed to work 40 hours last week despite taking an additional 8 hours off of comp time from my previous week which totaled 57 hours of work. It is no wonder that I am tired and cranky and just a little sad that I'm getting so overwhelmed by the minutiae of living that I am missing the joy that comes with the third trimester. While I am excited to meet Zy-Goat, I am still in a WAIT! state of mind when it comes to Zy. I'll take whatever comes of course, and whenever he comes as well, but I just need to find more time, or energy, or slave labor or something.

I guess I should give in and make this weeks list - at least I can start crossing things off again.

It's Gonna Be a Long Week Stress Test...

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Damn.

30 weeks and change

I'm amazed to say that I am now 30 weeks pregnant. (Technically 30w1d) I am just in awe to be this pregnant already. It seems like it has gone so quickly, and I'm sure the last 10 weeks or so will as well. What is really weird is that now instead of counting upwards, I feel like now is a time to start counting down.

I still feel quite good but it is all starting to see just a bit harder...and I mean everything: Moving, keeping an emotional balance, cleaning, sleeping, eating, dressing, etc. It just all seems a bit harder week to week. I'm sure it will only continue and I don't really mind because it is worth it!

Example: I rolled over in bed last week and grunted. Chris asked what that was and I say "It is a moving noise. I make moving noises now. Also I drool." (Which was sadly true as I drooled while speaking to him at that point...*blush*)

Babycenter says this:

How your baby's growing:Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

We started our birth class tonight and it went well. It doesn't have too many people in it and I think we will learn some helpful things. Ironically, we all seem to be introverts leading to lots of ackward silences when our instructor asked questions. Finally my dislike of ackward silences overcame my dislike of talking in strange places. Still I think it will be a good group and we'll all come out of our shells a bit. We are one of the first couples due too so I hope we last through the whole class!

I may do another belly picture soon. I am feeling more pregnant, particularly with the introduction of more maternity wear. Still, I'm surprised how many of my clothes I can still wear - particularly long tops and stretchy pants. Zy is also moving around like a storm - he seems to be a very active baby and certainly makes moving counts easy - except of course when he does rest and then I worry. But I will always find something to worry about if I look for it!

So long story short - things are going well, but I still have WAY too much to do to be ready for Zy just yet, so I hope he stays put for those remaining 10 weeks.

All that...

All that is immoral is not illegal.
All that are paranoid are not misguided.
All that are friendly are not sincere.

But...

All that are friends are very much loved and appreciated. Thanks guys.

I wish I'd known...Vol 4.

I didn't post this yesterday because I fell asleep instead. I like sleep, and days off. They make me less grouchy!

So here is your question and I'm sure it is something on everyone's mind lately...

What do you wish you'd known about saving money? All tips and tricks are welcome. I'm sure we are all looking for ways to cut back in this bad economy.

Finally, I'm always open to questions so if you have a question you'd like to ask of my readers, few though they are, let me know!

Progress is messy

Today was the first true day off I've had in a long while - possibly a month or more. See I've had deadlines all month long that has had me working on even the most unplanned days. The deadlines are over, at least for the time being, and so today was an honest to goodness day off.

So what to do but mess up the entire house under the guise of cleaning and organization!

So out come boxes that we haven't sorted through since we moved almost 3 years ago. All of this needs going through to clean out the back room, put stuff in storage and prepare for the baby. We've made good progress today - filling 4 boxes of books to sell to Half-Price Books, another 2 boxes for Goodwill and several bags of shredded documents the place is well...a mess.

But it is a slightly more organized mess than it was, even though it is now spread through the whole apartment instead of simply hidden in the back room. Still, it gives me hope that we will be prepared, at least nursery-wise, when Zy decides to make his appearance.

Now if I can just get a few more (dozen) days off I'll get it all in order.

Random Thoughts

* Congratulations for my friend Liz and her husband Seth on the birth of their beautiful daughter Anna Justine last week. It does suddenly move me up to the next most pregnant friend, a title I'm not sure I feel quite ready for yet.

* More pregnancy brain - today i put my maternity pants on backwards. I didn't notice for nearly 4 hours. I find this alarming for several reasons...including the fact that they still fit surprisingly well.

* There are too many weekends that have *extra* work stuff lately. I'm tired and want a break. At least tomorrow is a day off.

* My husband earned major brownie points this weekend. He drove me down to my church retreat (an hour away) because I was tired, and then stayed in town overnight at his parents (same town as the retreat) and took care of his mom after her surgery this week to give his day a day of rest himself. What a good guy I've got!

* We ordered a crib. Yay! I doesn't seem to have a recall unlike the first one we tried to pick out!

* Did I mention I have tomorrow off! Yay! I hope to get a jump on the nursery a bit...I took a nap during that free time today.

* I feel a bit guilty that I didn't watch the Super Bowl. We went to play bridge instead. I did TiVo it so I can watch the commercials if I want. And the game was on in the background at Bridge.

* Hope springs eternal.

* I finally gained weight at my doctor's office. My doctor was fine with it but I felt a bit disappointed to go up. I'm know about 10 lbs up.

* My BP was also a bit lower but not quite where I want to see it, but still ok. I probably worry about it more than I really need to yet as my doctor isn't concerned and she had pre-eclampsia in all three of her own pregnancies. So I'm trying to let the worry go.

* I am now more pregnant than my friend Kerry was when she delivered her triplets. Blows my mind.