Thursday, January 29, 2009

50 Book Challenge 2009

Are you ready? I have a feeling this year will more of a challenge that last year with the baby on the way but I'm going to make the effort none the less! Suggestions are always welcome! To see my earlier years see my side bar. So without further ado:

The 50 Book Challenge 2009

1. The Amber Spyglass (His Dark Materials Trilogy, Book 3) by Philip Pullman
2. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
3. To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis
4. The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
5. 'Tis the Season!: A Novel by Lorna Landvik
6. Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions by Neil Gaiman
7. Rococo: A Novel by Adriana Trigiani
8. The Boggart by Susan Cooper
9. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling*
10. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.R. Rowling*
11. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.R. Rowling*
12. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.R. Rowling*
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix by J.R. Rowling*
14. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling*
15. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
16. The Tales of Beetle the Bard by J.K. Rowling
17. Son of a Witch: Volume Two in the Wicked Years by Gregory Maguire
18. Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott
19. Dark Tort by Diane Mott Davidson
20 The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaimen
21. Sweet Revenge by Diane Mott Davidson
22. Very Valentine by Adriana Trigiani
23. Maybe Baby: 28 Writers Tell the Truth About Skepticism, Infertility, Baby Lust, Childlessness, Ambivalence, and How They Made the Biggest Decision of Their Lives by Lori Leibovich
24. The Book of Air and Shadows: A Novel by Michael Gruber
25. Plum Spooky by Janet Evanovich
26. The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror, Version 2.0 by Christopher Moore
27. The Demigod Files (A Percy Jackson and the Olympians Guide) by Rick Riordan
28. A Lion Among Men: Volume Three in the Wicked Years by Gregory Maguire
29. Drops Like Stars: A Few Thoughts on Creativity and Suffering by Rob Bell
30. The Time Travelers (The Gideon Trilogy) by Linda Buckley-Archer
It's a Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons by Andrea J. Buchanan
Sepulchre by Kate Mosse
33. The Time Thief (The Gideon Trilogy) by Linda Buckley-Archer
34. Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not the Answer by Jen Lancaster
35. The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 1) by Rick Riordan
36. The Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 2) by Rick Riordan
37. From the Great Omission to Vibrant Faith by Dr. David W. Anderson 
38. The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 3) by Rick Riordan
39. Fatally Flaky by Diane Mott Davidson
40. Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me? by Jen Lancaster
41. The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 4) by Rick Riordan
42. Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office by Jen Lancaster
43. The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 5) by Rick Riordan 
44. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown 
45. The Forgery of Venus: A Novel by Michael Gruber 
46. Finger Lickin' Fifteen by Janet Evanovich   
47. Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or, the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster  
48. The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Book 1) by Alexander McCall Smith  
49. Tears of the Giraffe (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Book 2) by Alexander McCall Smith
50. Time Quake (The Gideon Trilogy) by Linda Buckley-Archer
51. The Boleyn Inheritance by Philippa Gregory
52. Morality for Beautiful Girls (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Book 3) by Alexander McCall Smith
53. The Kalahari Typing School for Men (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Book 4) by Alexander McCall Smith
54. The Full Cupboard of Life (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Book 5) by Alexander McCall Smith

I blame pregnancy brain...

I got into the office and checked my email this morning.

I had one from a friend and volunteer asking to meet on Sunday.

Concerned, I dashed off an email agreeing to meet and asking if anything was wrong.

Only then did I scroll down on the email and see that she was actually responding to an email from me - an email about a meeting I REQUESTED. (I'm interviewing all my church families - several each month).

Oops. I sent her another clarifying my mistake and all is good, but I would just like to state for the record:

This my brain on pregnancy.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A mis-organized perfectionist pondering...

Why is it that we are so quick to forgive others for the same faults that we beat ourselves up for? I don't know about you but I do this ALL.THE.TIME. I may chide myself for giving in and having a treat at work, but am more than willing to forgive the caloric sins of my co-workers when they suffer from the same guilt. I find myself wondering if my friends see their own worth when they put themselves down and am willing to passionately argue (with them) on their psyche's behalf. But me, I have an inner marine Sargent of a critic in my head who is more than willing to give his two cents worth.

I'm sure I am not alone in this, and I have gotten better about this lately. For some reason focusing on my pregnancy has brought a sense of inner clarity that I haven't always possessed. Oh sure, the Sargent still comes out to play, but for the most part I'm able identify my strengths and weaknesses without the melodrama to which I am somewhat prone.

I find this an interesting phenomenon though and wonder if it is just me. Do others find upcoming life-changes to be revealing of who you are and what is really important? I don't know but it seems true of me. Granted there are still a lot of self improvement projects I'd like to take on, but for the most part I am me and that me, flawed and beautiful, will have to be enough for a while for Zy. With help of course, LOTS of help, from Mr. Goat and family and friends and probably strangers on the internet too.

But it feels like it is sufficient. My flaws can be lessened by the strengths of others. This seems like an important point for me to remember. As a procrastinating perfectionist with some organizationally-challenged tendencies it can be hard. I know my tendency to want to put things off until I have the energy and time to do it as things *should* be done. If there isn't time I simply put it on hold until there is.

Take the apartment for example - lately there has been so much work that it has been quite a mess. It is cluttered with attempts to de-clutter before the birth of Zy. Things needed washing, and vacuuming and sorting. Nurseries need clearing out. And I have been in a state where work took up the vast majority of my days, in some case 16 hours a day in the last few weeks. There was no time to face the task and the worse it got the more I got agitated.

But yesterday was an quiet evening and opportunity. Mr. Goat had done a thourogh cleaning of the kitchen, it looked so good that I did some cleaning. I did some laundry. The apartment is FAR from perfect but it is SO much better. My head seems clearer. The sun seems a bit brighter because of it. And it was such a small thing - a few hours rather than the days needed to do it *right.* I realized that waiting until I can do something fully often leaves me anxious in the interim. But, putting in a little bit of time here and there made such a difference.

I imagine that this will be something I'm going to need to remember as I approach motherhood. Time will be even more precious and it won't be possible to do everything as I think it ought to be done. Rather it will be flying by the seat of our pants. And as I thought about this I realized that it is exactly something I would say to a friend beating herself up for not having time to do everything as it *ought*:

Do what you can. Even that little effort will help and you'll feel better for having started it. Do what you can, the rest will follow. Ask for help when you need it, and for heaven's sake, cut yourself some slack.

Sounds like sound advice to me...

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

About Face

I was all set to write a big long whiny "woe is me" post for you all. About how it is all too hard, and too busy and I'm so tired, no money, whine whine whine...yada yada yada.

Then this came on the radio and I changed my mind at least temporarily. I can't say I'm in a better place completely but I'm at least recommitted to making the best of it today. Maybe you could use it too? Many blessings to you all.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I Wish I'd Known....Vol 3.

For today's "What I wish I'd known" I have two options for you: one pregnancy related, another organizationally related.

Option 1 - Obviously, having reached 28 weeks pregnant, I now realize that labor is sometime on the horizon (hopefully still 12 weeks away though). So What do you wish you'd known about labor? In particular, any advice about doulas and their usefulness. Ways to deal with doctors. The necessity (or not) of birth plans. Anything and everything about the actual moments (hours, days, whatever) about having a baby.

Option 2 - In the course of our nursery cleaning, purging and organizing we are coming across a wide range of college and graduate school stuff, as well as lots of other miscellaneous stuff. So What do you wish you'd known about what to keep from school and the past? We need to purge but don't want to get rid of things we'll use again or might need or whatever, at the same time we need a strong will to get end the clutter. Any advice about this is helpful too!

As always, Thanks blogland. I'm really loving this series because I learn so much about each of you and about ways to look at the world. It helps me clarify what I feel is really important. So thanks and keep the comments coming!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

28 weeks, 2 days...

Last night we went to a wedding. I broke out the one maternity dress I bought and was pleased at the lovely way it emphasizes that I am in fact pregnant and not just fat. As a result, I am giving in and sharing with you guys a belly picture. Please be gentle.

It just blows my mind that there are twelve weeks left, even when I see the growing evidence above.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Streams of barely consciousness...

I have twenty minutes here at work (yes, still at work) before I have a rehearsal for Sunday. So I thought I would blog since I feel I have been neglectful of it lately. I'm not sure if I have anything of substance but here goes...

I am very proud of my work at work lately. I'm organized and on top of things - both goals I routinely strive for. I'm feeling ahead of the game just barely and while i know that it will change sooner than later it is a nice feeling. However, I'm in just the opposite place with some other things that need doing...including but not limited to cleaning and nursery preparation.

These are particularly alarming because I did the math and on Wed I crossed over into 28 weeks pregnant - leaving me just12 weeks remaining. And that is assuming all things go as planned. Some things we are getting prepared for but the nursery is a big mess still and we really need to order a crib. I guess I keep putting it off in hopes that Mr. Goat will find a job and we'll miraculously be able to afford to actually buy baby stuff.

But we did manage to buy a car this week so at least we are no longer tag teaming. We feel we got a pretty good deal on an '01 Toyota Avalon. It is older than we want with more miles but ultimately it was what we could afford and I know it is a safe and reliable car. I can't shake the panic that comes with a major purchase without major funds but we really do need it. Still we were able to do it without financing thank to the insurance check from the totaled car and what we had. Whew.

I spent much of Tuesday in awe watching or listening to inauguration coverage at work. One phrase that struck me from his speech was us having to choose "Hope over fear." I confess, I have a lot of fear lately. There is so much and so little at the same time. I hardly feel capable of running my own life and I'm soon going to be in charge of another person. There is a lot of fear, and a lot of hope at the same time. Depending on the minute you catch me I may be on one side or the other, but I a striving to choose hope. Fear is just paralyzing and there is nothing that can be done to stop it. So instead I want to choose hope today, and tomorrow. Knowing me I'll probably have to consciously choose hope over and over again. But I'll try.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

25 things!

Since I did this on facebook I thought I'd put it here too. (Especially since I had to write it twice because facebook ate it once). I'm not tagging anyone but play if you want to and let me know if you do!

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. It really bugs me when a book doesn't hold my interest. It feels so incomplete to leave it unfinished.
2. I had three majors in college - Math, English and Religion.
3. I would have done several more in a heartbeat including Physics, Music and Philosophy.
4. I am an INFP and have always been a VERY strong Introvert.
5. I have only been to the ER once in my life and it wasn't an emergency in the end. (We were on vacation and I thought I was having an allergic reaction, despite not having any known food allergies. It turned out that I had badly burned my throat on some hot food instead and there was nothing I could do but let it heal instead.)
6. I can be high minded and low brow at the same time. My perfect world includes both reality tv and philosophic discourse.
7. I like movies but rarely watch them since it seems difficult to commit 2-3 hours for one. However I can spend that much time with a book in the blink of an eye.
8. I miss Reading Rainbow and the Thundercats. It might be wrong to still like kids programming but I don't care.
9. I have never been thin. I have been thinner than I am not but have never been close to thin. Someday I hope to change this but I no longer consider it necessary for my worth. If I do succeed it will be for health reasons and not for self esteem. (I'm on board with this most days now at least!)
10. I love card games and board games. If I don't know the game I want to learn it and master it.
11. I would love to be a professor and would go back for my PhD in theology if I didn't have to learn/relearn 4 languages for it: Greek, Hebrew, French and German. (The only one I have no real knowledge of is German).
12. Despite my love of reading, I am not skilled at languages. I find numbers much more logical and simple to master.
13. I love science fiction in all forms, but my favorites are a perfect blend of cheesiness and ethical dilemmas.
14. I am a Christian but often feel hesitant to say so because of the stereotypes it evokes in others. That makes me sad on many levels.
15. Despite being a Christian, much of my spiritual understanding of God is derived from the Old Testament rather than the New.
16. I am pregnant with my first child, a son, due in 12 weeks!
17. When I met my husband I was introduced to the world of trains and am excited to share what I've learned someday soon with my son.
18. I am a messy person. I am organized in my own way but not in a normal neat and tidy way. I wish I could go on one of those organization/cleaning shows to get everything straightened so I could maintain it and not create it.
19. I like to work to help others more than for my own gain - as a result I am often scrambling to finish my own stuff.
20. I think that I am good on the fly and on short deadlines but really hate my tendency to procrastinate.
21. It is always a struggle to eat breakfast for me, I just don't like to take the time even though I like breakfast foods.
22. Some of the things I wanted to be when growing up include an Olymic diver and the first person on Mars. Both seem unlikely at this time.
23. I am married to man who I look forward to talk to every day who has a longstanding nickname from a farm animal.
24. All my cats have been named for weather related things - Tornado (RIP), Tsunami, Doppler.
25. I love to watch cooking shows, but much prefer to leave the cooking to others.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Monday before...

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I wish I were off work but I'm here but I'm still thinking about it. He took civil rights such a long way - in a way he took them far enough that I have grown up hardly aware of the reality of prejudice and racism in our own world. This says so much about the world that MLK sought to shape. And I feel like we are on the cusp of great things as a people because of his influence. Need proof?

Tomorrow Barak Obama will be inaugurated as the 44th President of these United States. And he is black, but he was not elected for the color of his skin but for the content of his character.

My worldview was improved by the influence of MLK. My own son will be born during an Obama administration. Who knows what chains of violence, oppression and injustice will be torn assunder next. I watch and wait today, in acknowledgement of the great change we've made as a people since MLK and in hope of an even greater change in the future of our nation.

And so lets put the two together...

I have a dream... Yes We Can!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I wish I'd known...Vol 2.

On this edition of "I wish I'd known" your topic is buying a car - specifically used cars. Mr. Goat's car got totalled just before Christmas and we've finally gotten our insurance check for the car. Unfortunately we are sort of limited in finances and can't really alter from the amount given to us by the insurance company. So we are navigating the used car vs. private sellers, carfax reports, consumer reports, safety, room for Mr. Goat and room for the baby, safe enough for all, and hopefully reliable to last us several years at least. It is all a multivarible morass of mystery. I *think* we have it narrowed down to some options but we are still working on it.

So, dear blogland, what do you wish you'd known about buying a used car? Thank you!


Funny story: Used car salesmen are obviously known for some specific stereotypes. On Friday we experienced a few of them, but I never before had one give me a gift before. We were talking with our salesman and he was wearing a Palestinian head wrap as a scarf and I commented and we got into a lovely conversation about Palestinian Christians, Gaza, Israel, Bethlehem and others. And he gave me an olive wood bracelet with Christian icons on it. It is lovely and unexpected. I have to admit I felt a bit bad when we didn't buy a car from him, but he didn't really have what we were looking for.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

4 things keeping me sane

Life has just seemed crazy for me lately. I don't know if it is the naturally busy weeks that I have after Christmas, or if it an increase in hormones and pregnancy related dragging, or simply the freezing temps this week but I've felt an inch away from cracking all week long.

But just as I'm about to lose it entirely there have been things to catch me and pull me up and back from the abyss.

1. Friends! - I was lucky enough to get out with some friends twice this week. I saw some Seminary friends on Thursday night since some people were in town for the Luther Sem conference this week. It was nice to talk to people who understand the joys (and frustrations) of ministry and I felt better about things afterwards - if only for a chance to vent and hear their venting as well. Last night I saw some of the MN Ladies to toast Emilie's birthday. We were at the same Buca that Emilie celebrated her 40th birthday at last year and it seemed fitting to honor her with friends and fellowship! A good laugh and a solomn moment were just what I needed.

2. Desserts! - At my Dr on Friday I learned that not only was my did I pass my glucose test but I did it with flying colors! And since I saw friends this week it meant tasty desserts - mostly in chocolate cake form. There is something calming about chocolate!

3. Naps! - Today I gave in and took a nap instead of worrying about my huge to do list. I slept at least and hour and a half and rested for another hour and it brought me back to a calm mental state. This isn't always an option but I'm glad I gave in and did it today even if I haven't accomplished much today. It was worth it!

4. Mr. Goat! - Love him and he is so willing to put up with me and my moods. He has been so generous as we've figured out the one car thing this week and I just love him. I got to spend some time car shopping with him on Friday and some time just vegging today and whenever i get to spend simple hours talking to my husband my mood improves dramatically. And that blessing! I'm so lucky!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Reader in a writer's world

All my life I have surrounded myself with words. I read voraciously as a child often reading things at reading levels far above my own maturity, even going through an unfortunately horror book phase in 7-8th grade. *shiver* I still read as much as I can, seeking to finish my 50 book challenge year after year.

I love words and the power of the written word especially. I marvel in a beautiful phrase. It feeds me and gives me hope and a sense of the divine at work in the world. They can truly make me giddy with delight. And I am blessed to be around many wonderful writers in this world. My mother, a poet, children's book author and composer has shaped my world view profoundly. I always loved beautiful writing. It can be deep or shallow and still have the power to clearly relate an emotion, an experience or a worldview.

Words spoke to me long before I realized the work and talent necessary to produce those passages that I love so much. As I grew up I saw my mother agonize over just the right word, meter and tone of a phrase. In children's literature it is even more important to have everything just so, particularly in the world of picture books. There is only so much text on an average 32 page picture book, and from watching my mother I know that each word is chosen with care and long debate.

I know too, that there are moments when it seems effortless; when words pour out of your own soul fully formed onto the page. I have had precious few moments like this, but I think through my reading I can identify those moments in others. I've been thinking of writing and writers a lot since Emilie's death. Emilie had one of those captivating writing styles that drew you in and held you close. I think any one who knew her writing knew her. And in knowing her, I can assure you that her writing was a true reflection of herself.

But it is more than that. I have been profoundly touched by all the wonderful writing that Emilie's passing has inspired. So many friends and people I never even knew have poured their own grief into words at her passing. In a way I have felt inadequate to match these outpourings. So I soak their words instead and allow them to comfort me in a way that I know Emilie would have understood. In reading, I feel my grief transformed into joy and hope of Emilie writing still in the heavenly host.

(Can't you just picture her organizing and editing a paper with Dante, Dostoevsky, St. Thomas Aquinas, and C.S. Lewis...)

Most of the time in blogland I feel like a reader more than a writer. I share because I aspire to be more of a writer than I really am. I know full well that I lack the perseverance to ever be a writer of depth or acclaim, and that's ok. Really I am too lazy; proof-reading is a chore for me. I much prefer stream of consciousness. And I'm sure you've noticed that I've never really mastered the art of the comma.

But I remain always a reader, seeking moments of beauty and connection. Words flow like music, drawing me out of myself and into a world of possibility and wonder. Words are acts of creation mirroring the great Creator. In words I have found sorrow, peace and hope. They catch me and hold me up; they grieve with me. They are friends found with a flashlight under the covers.

I may never write with the full power of words, but I revel in them nonetheless. If you read my blog, welcome and know I'm trying. If I read yours, thank you for sharing your words. I hope I can someday express what they can mean to me.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Random thoughts jotted down in between other things...

* Still haven't heard from the doctor about the GD so I think I'm in the clear! Go me! I'll be sure to ask at my appointment on Friday but I imagine I'd have heard by now. I am not terribly surprised as Zy was measuring right on last week and not large at all, but still, it is good to have it confirmed...even if they don't actually confirm it directly! I'm also glad to avoid the three hour ordeal.

* It is so COLD around here. I'm glad the sun is out and all but -5 should never be a high temp for the day.

* I can see the end of the tunnel for some freelance stuff. It is still a few weeks away with deadlines in between but I hope life will calm down somewhat then. Working during the day and at night is grueling...and I'm sure being pg has nothing to do with it at all. Still I would also like to be asked back for further projects, go figure.

* It is getting challenging having one car. There isn't too much we need two cars for right now but it is hard to not be able to just go to the gym or the store but need to work it out. We are currently waiting our check for our poor totally camry and then we'll see what, and if we can afford something (used). I just hope we can get something safe since Zy will be in it sometimes. It also makes finding time to go to the grocery store darn near impossible. Not sure what is left in the house really.

* Did I mention it was COLD yet?

* My friend Missy wrote a lovely post about Emilie today. You should all go read it.

* I have been working like crazy lately - like 12 - 16 hr days, sleep, repeat. I think I finally finished a good chunk of work that will make the rest of the week slightly more normal. I do have an extra class to teach Sat that I'm wishing was another week but that is life.

* As a result of crazy work I didn't post this last night like I'd hoped. As it was I went to be after 1 am.

* Yes, I am pregnant. Yes, I know I'm crazy. No, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't need to be right now. That is all.

* Speaking of pregnant, whoa the hormones come out when I'm tired. Yeesh. Maybe I can channel them all into a big can of pregnancy whoop-ass. Now who should get it though...I've got my eye on you legal job markets.

* That is legal job markets like hiring lawyers, not like the opposite of an underground job market or something.

* Hmmm, I may still need sleep.

* Sorry for the half-asleep ramblings of a crazed pregnant lunatic :)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I wish I'd known...Vol 1.

Hey everyone, I promise to have a real blog post in a day or two. In the meantime I'm swamped with some deadlines so you'll have to bear with me. But I do want to start my "I wish I'd known..." series. I'm going to try to ask a new question every Sunday. To begin these are primarily going to be about pregnancy, labor, and motherhood since those are very much on my mind but I'm going to expand them as I think of things that I want to know.

This comes from the fact that I always like to here "assvice" from people and I think it is really important to pass on what we know with one another. Plus I think we always look back at things and say, "I wish I'd known that..." These are my dumb questions, but I'm happy to take submissions for future volumes. (And there maybe some secret play to have lots of comments to read on the blog! :)

So without further ado, here is our first "What you wished you knew" question....

What did you wish you'd known about the third trimester of pregnancy?

Friday, January 09, 2009

Pet Peeve

So I had my GD test yesterday. It wasn't as horrible as I anticpated but it certainly wasn't fun. I had sugar highs and crashes all day yesterday (partially because then I was craving sugar later on in the day as a result of that dumb drink). But I'm feeling much better today (being off work helps too!)

But, the whole thing highlights one of the pet peeves I always seem to have with doctors and their staff. We didn't find out the results yesterday - I'm not sure if that is normal or not. But they said that my doctor will get the results today but typically they only call if it is abnormal (or high in this case).

Why can't a Dr call with whatever results. If I don't hear today does that mean I'm good or that I have a busy nurse/doctor who can't find time to call me today. So I'm jumpy if the phone rings today but I'm also not reassured if I don't hear today. I would so much rather hear regardless.

It isn't that big a deal I suppose. I hope I will pass but it is what it is if I don't. Failing the one hour doesn't mean I have GD so I'm not overly worried about it, but I still wish I knew if and when I'll know for sure. Still I think if I make it to Tuesday I'm good!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Warning: Smitten Mommy Ahead

Ok, so isn't Zy-Goat the cutest? I know I am utterly and completely biased, but seriously, look at that adorable profile...

We had an ultrasound today. My doctor wanted to just check our measurements since I do have that whole chronic hypertension thing. I was 26 weeks today, and ZyGoat was measuring exactly 26 weeks. He was a few days ahead of the game at our 20 week ultrasound, but our technician said that they can do growth spurts here and there. They said anything within three weeks high or low was normal so being right on for growth seems great! Go Zy-Goat! (I'm also hoping it makes failing my glucose test tomorrow remote!)

Zy is also quite flexible and in a weird position, which partially explains why my doc couldn't quite tell what was up with him and ordered the ultrasound. Even our technician today seemed to think his position was odd. His head is down but his butt is up and then his legs are curled back up to the head. He is basically in a pike position in my uterus (see picture below). We'll just see if continues to be this athletic and flexible outside as he is inside!

Finally, he displayed for the whole world to see, that he is his mother's son...a geek in the making. A geekling if you will. Behold the geek universal hand sign (he was doing it even better before this picture was snapped but you get the idea!)

A trekkie in the making. "Live Long and Prosper" my sweet little Zy Goat!


It's been two weeks, and I still check her blog every day in hopes of seeing something new. Maybe one day I'll figure it out...

Tuesday, January 06, 2009


You will notice a distinct lack of resolving on this blog this year. Honestly, I have been in something of a quandary over the whole thing. You see I am currently almost 2/3 of the way through a mandatory diet-free zone. Obviously I'm pregnant, and therefore NOT on a diet. I am however, working hard to keep my diet good and avoid excess weight gain at my doctor's guidance.

Nevertheless, weight loss is always high on the list of my New Year's resolutions. And I think last year went pretty well all things considered. I worked out much much more and did lose a bit of weight over the year...not enough, but it wasn't a gain either.

December's events and the added pregnancy exhaustion and planning have taken a toll on my gym going though. Though this week is not helping to get me back on track (literally), I do need to start walking again at the gym. As my pregnancy progresses it is getting harder to find the energy to go and I don't want to lose the progress I made last year.

All that being said, I cannot attempt any weight loss until after Zy-Goat makes his debut - and I am still hoping he goes full term because I can't see being ready until that point. So April, or more realistically May or June, is the real "New Year" weight loss challenge.

This a weird place to be. One the one hand I'm so very proud of what I've accomplished being pregnant already. On the other, I am itching to take this real progress and work to transfer it into weight loss...but I can't. Not yet.

And really, this year has a much bigger resolution I have yet to fully grasp...motherhood.

So I remain unresolved at the moment. I have a lot of goals for the year, but none that are starting their journey this new year. Instead they are the old favorites I struggle with over and over again, with a new twist - Zy-Goat. Who knows what will come of this year, but I'm very excited for it, even if I am unresolved at the moment.


And yes, I could just be over thinking this whole thing. Maybe Mr. Goat has the right idea with his resolution....Weigh Less, Earn More.

Monday, January 05, 2009


The first day back to work after two weeks with only two days of work is shock to the system. I need a reboot. I would now like to dream that the lazy pace of the holiday vacations could somehow continue while continuing to get paid. What a lovely dream...

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Mr Goat says...

Mrs. Goat: I don't have a cute baby bump. :(

Mr. Goat: You know what they say, "Cute bump, ugly baby"

Mrs. Goat: I don't think they say that.

Mr. Goat: Sure they do, I just said it right now.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Baby Steps

So guess what world...I'm over 25 weeks pregnant! I can't quite fathom how that much time has passed but I'm a few short weeks from being in my third trimester. Whoa. So here are a few baby related items as we take baby steps towards our baby.

* I had another doctor's appointment on Friday. I'm essentially going to start going every two weeks now. I saw a new doc (OB-GYN) since mine (really a nurse-midwife)was on vacation. I may see the new doc from here on out as she is very proactive. She said, the med you are on is fine but there is a better one with fewer risks for baby so lets do that instead. I, of course, now worry I did Zy-Goat harm but I think the new med is just a better option.

* In the same proactive vain I get to have another ultrasound next week to see how Zy-Goat is growing. I'm looking forward to seeing him again, and maybe another picture will give us a better sense of his name.

* I also get to do my glucose test next week. I'm not looking forward to it, and I hope I don't fail that and have to take the 3 hour one. I really want to avoid GD if possible.

* On the plus side, I actually lost a pound, being pregnant, over the holidays, so props to me! I'm only 4 pounds up for the entire pregnancy.

* Also my blood pressure was looking really good. I hope the new med works as well as the old (and that I didn't hurt Zy, but it was a pregnancy friendly drug so I'm trying not to be weird about it...and obviously failing).

* We also registered on Friday at Babies R Us. Who knew there was so much little baby stuff that we needed, and we didn't even look for clothes because I figure we'll just get a bunch of that. Or not, and then we can just buy the cute stuff on clearance.

* I did have a sense of guilt, like I did when we did our wedding registry. It seems so hard to make a list of gifts when the economy is bad for everyone, but I have at least on shower (in WI) so people apparently want to know.

* I have baby-bump envy. I still hardly look pregnant to the outside observer, though it is getting easier to tell. Mostly I just look big and fat. I have what plus size pregnant ladies refer to as a "B" belly. Unlike the cute little "D" bellies of small pregnant ladies, I have an indent where my belly button is. All my fat is getting pushed above it and the baby mostly rests below it. (think a sideways shot of the belly to have the letters make sense). My B is starting to turn into a D but at Babies R Us I felt much less pregnant and less cute than the average pregnant lady. But that may be my own hangups. Really, I'll look like anything necessary to get a healthy Zy out in 3+ months.

* I will post glucose test results and any ultrasound pictures next week. Thanks for all your support through the pregnancy so far. It gets more real and exciting every day!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Books read in 2008

Here is the final total on my 2008 50 book challenge. I didn't get as many read as last year but I did make 50 pretty solidly. I am going to try again next year and get a list started once I've got some books under my belt to post. Still I'm proud of the list and there were some good ones. I think next year I'm going to include some of my tried and true favorites again. Some books are just calling to be reread. But here is the list for this year - I've starred my favorites for the year if you want to know. Happy New Year and happy reading!

The 50 Book Challenge 2008

1. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
2. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini *
3. Resort to Murder: Thirteen More Tales of Mystery by Minnesota's Premier Writers by Minnesota Crime Wave
4. Evenings at Five by Gail Godwin
5. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert *
6. The Pillers of the Earth by Ken Follett *
7. Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
8. The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls *
9. The View from Mount Joy: A Novel by Lorna Landvik
10. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel by Lisa See *
11. The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai
12. Beware of Cat: And Other Encounters of a Letter Carrier by Vincent Wyckoff
13. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life by Barbara Kingsolver *
14. The Good Fairies of New York by Martin Millar
15. Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani
16. Big Cherry Holler by Adriana Trigiani
17. People of the Book: A Novel by Geraldine Brooks
18. Milk Glass Moon by Adriana Trigiani
19. Home to Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani
20. Plum Lucky by Janet Evanovich
21. Songs without Words by Ann Packer
22. Those who Save Us by Jenna Blum
23. Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky
24. I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
25. A Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible by A.J. Jacobs *
26. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
27. Peony in Love: A Novel by Lisa See
28. Flim-Flam Man: The True Story of My Father's Counterfeit Life by Jennifer Vogel
29. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
30. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier
31. Fearless Fourteen by Janet Evanovich
32. Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1) by Stephenie Meyer *
33. The Silent Gondoliers by William Goldman as told by S. Morgenstern
34. Double Shot by Diane Mott Davidson
35. Confessions of a Pagan Nun: A Novel by Kate Horsley
36. The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits and a Very Interesting Boy by Jeanne Birdsall
37. Catering to Nobody by Diane Mott Davidson
38. Dying for Chocolate by Diane Mott Davidson
39. The Secret History by Donna Tartt
40. The Cereal Murders by Diane Mott Davidson
41. The Penderwicks on Gardam Street by Jeanne Birdsall
42. The Wise Woman: A Novel by Philippa Gregory
43. The Last Suppers by Diane Mott Davidson
44. Killer Pancake by Diane Mott Davidson
45. The Main Corpse by Diane Mott Davidson
46. The Grilling Season by Diane Mott Davidson
47. Bridge of Sighs: A Novel by Richard Russo *
48. New Moon (The Twilight Saga, Book 2) by Stephenie Meyer *
49. The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials Trilogy, Book 1) by Philip Pullman
50. Certain Girls: A Novel by Jennifer Weiner *
51. Prime Cut by Diane Mott Davidson
52. Eclipse (The Twilight Saga, Book 3) by Stephenie Meyer *
53. Confession of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
54. Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga, Book 4) by Stephenie Meyer *
55. World without End by Ken Follett *
56. Tough Cookie by Diane Mott Davidson
57. The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine
58. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis *
59. The Subtle Knife (His Dark Materials Trilogy, Book 2) by Philip Pullman (technically I finished the last 20 pages or so last night after midnight but I'm still going to count it!)