Sunday, December 20, 2009

Wrapping FAIL

Wrapping is a pain in the ass.
It's ok, you can laugh at me.  I do.

Friday night found me wrapping presents to get in the mail for Saturday morning.  I am sending them ahead of us because frankly I don't know how we're going to travel with all the baby stuff in the first place.  The baby was in bed, the presents all wrapped and I was working on addressing the box of goodies for the morning.  It was 11pm.

I got up to get a better sharpie as mine was dying and came back and flopped down on the sofa and immediately noticed there was a problem.  It seemed that the scissors that I had been using had slipped off the cushion and was sticking straight up.  If I had looked I could have avoided them, but I didn't and so I ended up with a pair of scissors in my ass (upper thigh really but ass is so much funnier).

I said something to the affect of "That's not good" and pulled them out as Mr.Goat asked what was wrong.  Cut to a call to the nurse line and a check of facebook to see what IRL friends might still be up at 11pm on Friday night (man we are old).  We found a classmate of Mr. Goat's from law school who had kids and recently had signed off and promptly got the poor fellow out of the bed he'd just entered.

But he was nice enough to get up and drive 30 minutes to our little suburb to sit in our apartment and watch the food network on the off chance that baby goat would wake up.

And so Mr. Goat and I headed over to the hospital.  The same one I spent an extended stay at in Feb when baby goat made his appearance to the world.  I have to say I hadn't hoped to be in one of their hospital beds (lying on my left side) again any time soon.  They still haven't changed the screen savers on their in room computers by the way.

The nurse thought I might need stitches but the doctor said no.  While it was about 1/2 inch deep it wasn't that big and seemed to be a clean cut that had already mostly stopped bleeding.  They washed it out gave me a perscription for some preventative antibotics and sent me home.  (I thought that after 6.5 years I'd need a tetanus booster but the dr said it was fine - I'm still calling my doc on Monday, what can I say?  I am a worrier).

We were home and in bed by 2am after sending Mr. Goat's friend home with huge thank yous and promises of beer to come.  I'm mostly fine although sitting is not very comfortable and nor is the cautionary tale I'm now compelled to share with the world.  While injury isn't technically funny, particularly with an ER visit, it still is an injury that just calls for a giggle (or twenty).  There are so many possible "pain in the ass" jokes that can be made, and I may have heard them all this weekend.

Still, I'm fine and laughing at myself and this extra weekend adventure, but my warning to you all is to look before you sit, particularly when wrapping presents.

Adding Insult to Injury (literally)
While changing baby goat's diaper today (Sunday) I found a small piece of purple ribbon.  I was wrapping using some purple ribbon Friday but cleaned up afterwards.  I'm not sure where it had been hidden or how baby goat managed to find it and eat it.  Nevertheless, you can add bad mother to the inobservant sitter of Friday.  (Does anyone suppose that a bit of ribbon with hurt baby goat?)

Edited to Add (12/21/09):  I called the nurse line today and she reconfirmed that the tetanus is good for 10 years.  They will give boosters with dirty wounds after 5 years but that really refers to dirt (like soil) and rust where tetanus likes to live.  An indoor pair of scissors isn't a big concern I guess.  I'm going to assume that since my health professionals agree than I'm fine.  (Still don't look up tetanus unless you want a good worry today!)


Valerie said...

1) Ha ha! That gave me a chuckle on Friday, and I'm still chuckling now. At least I can say I'm laughing with you.

2) You're not a bad mother. Babies eat anything they can get their hands on. Remind me to tell you (or have my mom tell you) the story of the banana.

3) If cats can eat tinsel, babies can eat ribbon. Sure there can be some worries, but if that's all he ate, or if he only ate a few short pieces, I'm sure he's fine.

I hope you feel better soon, and I'm looking forward to seeing you and Baby Goat.

Monkeymama said...

Ouch! I'm glad you didn't need stitches. Have a safe flight and a Merry Christmas!

Roxane B. Salonen said...

I just have to say, Liz, a masterful rendition of your sad tail, er, uh, tale. Don't sweat the ribbon. I've heard of worse passing through just fine. Though do a Diaper Dance when you see a purple string in a future diaper. :) And yes, check on the tetanus. Better safe than sorry. Finally, ouch, ouch and ouch! I hope you will be completely healed up and little bit sharper (oops, did it again) next time you have an occasion to plop down on the couch. So glad you can already laugh about it. That wasn't even 72 hours was it? :)

Molly Guthrey Millett said...

In college, I plopped down on my book bag as I took a seat on the bus and ... sat on a pencil. Ouch. The whole tip and more went right into my upper thigh, just below my butt. I had to go to the student clinic. In the paperwork I filled out, I wrote the reason for visit: "pencil in leg." The nurse thought that was pretty funny and strange. anyway, it required minor surgery to remove! The whole ordeal was quite embarrassing.

Rebecca said...

Wow. That is really funny.

JM said...

Ouch, a pain in the ass literally. Glad it wasn't any worse. And I wouldn't worry about the ribbon, it made it's way back out:). Kiddos are hardier than we think, a bit of wayward scrap isn't likely to cause a problem.

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