When I began this last month I'd never done a workout on an elliptical machine because my calves immediately protested the pain. Sunday night I did an hour and 5 min on it (the 5 min being cool down time). Granted that was the longest I had done and the hour nearly killed me it felt like, but it is such an increase from a month and a half ago that it must mean something. Meeting with my trainer at the beginning of this month has helped too. I have a month long plan and it includes variation of cardio and time so it is never the same thing.
I'm starting to feel like the gym is becoming an established part of my days right now. I have had a few slip ups but they have been one day blips on the screen and I haven't let myself fall apart because of them. I even find the time with my ipod or my thoughts to be sometimes relaxing in those moments when I can let my eyes stray from watching the clock tick away (which moves so slowly sometimes).
Now it is the food part that needs addressing and I have to admit this is the scarier part for me. I still don't get up well in the mornings and it is trouble when my food choices and budget would be helped by bringing my lunches. I'm still feeling paranoid about eating chicken, which limits some low-calorie protein options. I need to start eating it anyway, but it isn't the easiest thing to overcome irrational anxiety about something. And I'm trying to make better choices which what I am eating, and trying to eat before the gym rather than afterwards at 9 or 10pm. This is not easy however.
And I still need to deal with my impatience with the whole process. I am the proclaimed Queen of Impatience according to my hubby, and he should know since I pester him about whether or not he sees any progress daily. It is frustrating because to be as big as I am, small changes don't always seem apparent. And my more frequent examinations in front of the mirror bring to the forefront the reality of being FAT which in my idle state I did my best to ignore. Still, I'm trying to have some self-discernment with regards to my size, weight loss, exercise and what not. And most importantly I'm still going.
But I don't want to this post to go back too much to what still needs to be done. There is always stuff that needs to be done. I am working out and have been at it for a month and a half. And that is something to be celebrated. And amazingly enough, though it is my day off, I am sort of regretting that my gym back is at home because at this particular moment I'd rather be at the gym than at work!
Edited to Add: What do you think blogland? Here's a random picture from teaching a volunteer to use the digital camera today at work for a Sunday School lesson. Please ignore the very messy office as I haven't had a chance to clean in a while (but have found time to blog - there are my priorities for you). Anyway, I was surprised to find that I didn't hate the sight of a picture of me. Progress perhaps? Who knows.





































